Things That Disgust Me:
Pauly D’s hair.
I mean, it’s ugly. That’s a no brainer. But it wasn’t until a friend sent me a link to “No Americano Jersey Shore” that I had a particularly strong reaction.
The video consists of various Jersey Shore members dancing around to “We No Speak Americano.” Pauly D, unfortunately, treats us to a close-up of his over-gelled, head-armor hair.
It looks gross — rigid and vaguely gray from the hardened hair gel. You can see the furrows where he ran his comb/hair-pick/styling-device.
I love you, Pauly D (no, really I do), but no one needs to see your hair in that much detail.
Things That Need Explanation:
Taylor Swift’s hair.
How is it so blond? How does it curl like that? Are they even curls, or are they waves? Why is it the focus of every single one of her album covers (see Taylor Swift, Fearless, and Speak Now for further detail)?
Things That Make Me Weep for Joy:
The National.
Why have I never heard of this band before? They are wonderful and have everything I love in a band — a baritone à la Matt Berninger, interesting melodies, and provocative lyrics.
The National has a sometimes dark but always evocative sound that recalls dingy apartments and empty rooms. Brooklyn based, they sound very artsy New York, but in a less pretentious, grittier way. Less studied coffeeshop and more rainy pavement, puddle-splashing yellow cab.
Things That Confound Me:
Use of the word “woe” in the Ready Set’s radio single “Love Like Woe.”
I would really like to sit contemporary songwriters down in a Writing Seminars class and have their songs workshopped. The Ready Set, aka Jordon Witzigreuter, uses the word “woe” as in —
She’s got a love like woe
Girl’s got a love like woe
I kinda feel like it don’t make sense
Because you’re bringing me in and you’re kicking me out again
What does this even mean? Her love is depressed and sad? Her love needs a Xanax? Don’t get me wrong, the song has a nice flow. It’s bouncy and light, and really that’s all I ask for in pop song.
My standards are pretty low — I’m not looking for a song to change my life, just something I can bob my head to.
And let’s not punish him for grammatical mistakes, or using too many unnecessary words (as in “I kinda feel like” in “I kinda feel like it don’t make sense”) if we’re still speaking in modern vernacular.
But honestly, who even uses the word “woe” in common, conversational language anymore?
No one says, “Oh hey, Ted, I’m feeling a little woebegone today,” or even, “Woe is me” except in jest. We don’t even use it adjectivally except to describe a dog’s “woeful” eyes, and even that is rare.
My advice to Mr. Witzigreuter? Drop the clever “pun” and just substitute “whoa” in for “woe.” It hurts less to look at.
Things That Intrigue Me:
Peter Travers and his magical ability to get celebrities to sing.
I first happened upon Peter Travers when watching an interview he did for Rolling Stone Magazine, where he asked Joseph Gordon Levitt to sing him something.
This was the around the time of Inception’s press tour, and the 3rd Rock From the Sun actor sang a little ditty he wrote for his collaborative production website hitRECord.
Cool, I thought, Joseph Gordon Levitt can sing.
But then it happened again. Shortly after watching Johns Hopkins masquerade as Harvard in The Social Network, I watched another interview.
This time, Mr. Travers was interviewing for the movie Never Let Me Go, and he asked Carey Mulligan and Andrew Garfield, who plays Eduardo Saverin in the Facebook movie, to express themselves, “whatever you’re feeling, a little bit, a little snatch, but I’m not going to take no for an answer.”
Garfield responded by singing the Bed Intruder song of Antoine Dodson fame.
My hat is off to you, Mr. Travers. Please continue to grace us with Youtube gems such as these. Please.
