Have you ever been persuaded by a seemingly innocent bottle of absinthe to crash your hook-up's car into a Dunkin' Donuts? Have you ever thrown a fat girl's clothes out your window to get her to leave your house before your roommates walk in and find out you hooked up with her?
Have you ever callously made fun of someone for peeing your bed and then no more than two months later pee in your own bed and blame it on someone else?
Have you ever been permanently banned from all Embassy Suites hotels for defecating all over the bathroom and lobby of one of their hotels?
If you said yes to any of these, or have done anything remotely similar, then congratulations, you can identify with Tucker Max.
He is perhaps one of the few people in existence for whom the entire spectrum of words to describe him is so polarized. Think of an "either love him or hate him" celebrity like Kanye West, and the range of words used to describe him.
Consider these comments regarding Tucker: "A disgusting, vile, repulsive, repugnant, foul creature," and "an artist of the highest order and a true humanitarian to boot."
What person other than Tucker Max could possibly fit those polar descriptions?
For those unfamiliar with Tucker Max, he is most commonly known for his 2005 debut book, I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, a collection of outrageous stories detailing hysterical drunken, social and sexual debauchery, the likes of which few had ever read. Who better to serve as the narrator than the very self-proclaimed narcissistic asshole responsible?
Most of these stories involve Max making intelligent and responsible life decisions, usually under the influence of a more-than-reasonable-or-safe consumption of alcohol, such as holding a drinking contest at a sushi bar where whoever blows past a 0.20 BAC level on a breathalyzer wins.
Other tales include his having sex with a random girl on top of her purse, which contained pepper spray, resulting in a mass exposure of capsaicin all over his genitalia.
At one point, he was tricked by a clingy ex-girlfriend into taking a physical test for chlamydia, meaning that he had to have a six-inch metal rod inserted into his penis for nothing.
Another time, Max was let go from a law firm internship essentially for not having sex with one of the partners.
However, these stories are only the tip of the iceberg. If you want to read about "free electroshock therapy" or read the most hilarious argument about a sandwich, then you can buy I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell.
It all started with a joke website where girls could fill out an online date-application to date a young man named Tucker Max. Now it's a hit website, a three-year-running New York Times Bestseller novel, a recent movie hailed by www.IGN.com as "the Godfather of raucous 20-something comedies," and a string of multiple tours at college campuses and in Iraq.
Wednesday night, Max came to Hopkins to speak at Shriver Hall, where he answered fans' questions about the book and movie and entertained the audience with several of his outlandish stories and caustic sarcasm.
According to the schedule, doors were supposed to open at 8:30 pm. By 8 p.m. the entrance of Shriver was effectively blocked. By 8:15 p.m., the security finally came outside and guarded the door until opening. At 8:30 p.m., the doors opened and no time was wasted as everyone rushed through, rather cooperatively. In no fewer than 15 minutes, the rows began to fill, and people turned to see more people arriving, this time on the balcony seats.
It is difficult to remember the last Hopkins event when people had to go up to the balcony, let alone when the balcony was filled by the time the show started.It wasn't long until Max arrived. He opened by making several jokes about Hopkins and the audience. "I've never seen so many nerds in here. We could have a Star Trek convention here, too."
After telling a brief story about why girls should never go to Cancun on spring break, because of guys like him, Max surprised the whole audience when he mentioned a Hopkins student, who had sent him a "heartfelt" e-mail about how he wanted to live life similar to how Max lived life.
The e-mail mentioned how most people at Hopkins are always striving for success, many to the point of depression and never feeling happy about what they were doing, and he said that he didn't want to follow that path. He wanted the follow the non-traditional path that Max followed, which is to follow your own road, based on your inner desires and self.
Then Max asked if the person was in the audience. The student was nowhere to be found, which resulted in Max making fun of the poor individual. Funnier than that, the student actually showed up later and of course Max continued to laugh at him.
Max used the e-mail as a transition into his motivational speech about how he came to be who he was today. He emphasized the importance of discovering and remembering what you love about yourself and what you love doing, and having the courage to pursue your dreams, despite encounters with naysayers.
He assured the audience that those problems will happen to just about anyone trying to be successful. He discussed his personal life in that regard, talking about how after his father fired him from the family business, he moved to Chicago with only $5000 saved up and began his writing career. Max joked how he ran out of money and had no job, so he took care of himself by emceeing to three-minute dating sessions and having his dates pay for all of his food. He expanded on his early writing career, mentioning being rejected numerous times despite the fact that he had taken great lengths to pursue what he loved doing. Of course, he didn't give up and his perseverance paid off.
His speeches on life and the pursuit of happiness formed the bulk of his presentation.
He then opened a question and answer session where audience members walked up and asked him any questions, regarding his book, or his manhood, which he successfully defended without breaking a sweat. One question, regarding the movie and its connection to a movie called Slingblade, lead to a roasting by Max, as there was no connection at all.
Questions from other students got some interesting responses. One student asked Max if he partied a lot during his college days at the University of Chicago, and Max expounded on how there was very little to do at Chicago. He described the school as a Midwestern version of Hopkins.
The last question was if Tucker had ever been in love, and Tucker talked about his previous relationship. It was one of his few serious monogamous relationships that he had had and because he was still fixated on his work, his relationship couldn't work out.The performance ended, but many stayed to take pictures of Tucker and get his autograph.
Just two months ago, on Sept. 25, the film adaptation of the book with the same title wasGilmore Girls' Matt Czuchry, convinces his friend Dan (Geoff Stults) to relocate his bachelor party to a faraway strip club.
A series of unfortunate events result in his friend being thrown in jail and Tucker not being invited to Dan's wedding. Tucker had to redeem himself and find a way to win his friends back.
Unfortunately, the movie resulted in paltry first week box office sales, with $360,000 on 120 screens, which Tucker Max accredits to poor marketing on the film's part. On the website, he cited an example where a girl claiming to be a big fan of the book had admitted that she did not even know there had a movie released.
As for future prospects, Tucker Max has announced in interviews and on his website that he will release a follow-up to I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, titled Assholes Finish First next year.
