The recent landmark court case that paved the way for the now infamous documentary A Dream: a Man without a Shadow has recently come back into the consciousness of people and reporters alike due to the onslaught of new cases dealing with similar realities of existence.
Five years ago, the U.S. Supreme Court's ruling in Sanford v. Shade brought much debate and joking from the international community as predicted by Justice Scolia in his written dissension: "The once respected 13 colonies will now become the laughing stock of the modern metaphysical world, as its citizens trounce around at noon on a summer day without any effects of the sun.
This verdict is horrifying for oh-so-many *lengthy and several page-long expletive* reasons." The reading public will also remember that this case led to Scolia's rather tragic, though ironically humorous, suicide in which investigators found him in the middle of the Mississippi River drenched in sun block lying under a "tremendously *lengthy, page-long expletive* magnifying glass.
(Of course this cruel irony was unforgettably followed by the infamous fiasco that led to Vice Chancellor Obama's appointment of Justice Nye, the Science Guy, in Scolia's stead). However, this political fiasco aside, the Supreme Court's verdict led to waves in metaphysics in local estuaries and the emancipation of the shadows.
However, those recent civil rights developments seem to have come on so fast that it left people and shadows alike without any real way of looking back on the developments. This is especially true as the case was followed by some problems in the time space continuum that Justice Nye, the Science Guy referred to as "wacky" in his brief on the very recent case of Shoe vs. Shoelace.
Foote v. Footprints is the case that led to this recent slew of new dockets that have bombarded the four shadow-emancipated justices and their four more conservative brethren (of course I left out Chief Justice Roberts as his wife and he share custody of his shadow; on weekends and every other Thursday he joins the ranks of the shadowed and vice versa. This development, of course, has led to interesting breaks in his personality, ones which his current girlfriend has described as "sexually stimulating, though intellectually confusing," which has forced them to stay open an extra hour on weekdays and to stay open on weeknights.
In May, Stephen J. Foote brought the suit against his Footprints due to their use in incriminating him in a grave robbery hearing. It began when Mr. Foote's attorney made the argument that the evidence was inadmissible because of person/footprint privilege, but following Foote's subsequent conviction he, very un-vindictively, filed a lawsuit against his footprints alleging irreconcilable differences, libel and lacto intolerance.
The Supreme Court declared a stalemate just this Monday, calling for the formation of a quote Metaphysical Supreme Court endquote thanks in part due to the footprints' very eloquent attorney Mr. Brooks Brothers Right Foot Wingtip Sole whose inability to speak did not take away from his ability to endear the some 200 people, and 100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 footprints in attendance at the proceedings.
However, until such a body can be formed all metaphysical belongings of an individual have been declared "free to do whatever they . . . it . . . well whatever the pronoun would be in that situation wants."
Now as I look out of my office window, blinded by my lack of sight, I can see footprints, people's ability to walk, the hammering of a hammer, the softness of a couch and all other various new and diverse friends moving around in relative confusion, looking in vain for some direction, as it has decided to go on a much needed vacation to what is north of the North Pole (see section for the full story G44444).
Clearly these very frightened attributes are in desperate need of direction and of the forming of this new metaphysical body, but are the American people ready for such a new development in its government that has been left relatively unchanged since the great Founding Fathers laid down its foundation?
Would this mean that we'd have to switch over to the metric system? Would we begin to talk in funny accents like those blokes from across that rather large body of water? And what about the Super Bowl? Hunh?
I think not, that things will stay the same especially now that the official population of the world has gone up several trillion decimal places in the past several hours and that one can now chat with the sentiments behind the Bill of Rights in the Starbucks behind the Library of Congress on Sunday afternoons.
No no no, life is good though very confusing . . . it's very difficult to be politically correct . . .
