It would seem ironic to an outsider that Hopkins, land of protractors and bunsen burners, has enough of a sexual scene to produce the need for a weekly sex column that has been running for over 10 years.
In actuality Hopkins is pulsing with sexual energy and it isn't difficult to discover. The D-Level Challenge, for example, is the creation of an overly horny Hopkins student who refuses to leave the sanctity of the library intact.
Each year, as a new class of freshmen join the Hopkins community, a dynamic shift takes place. The freshmen are regarded as fresh meat, inexperienced and exciting. As a result the upperclassmen girls are pushed from the sexual limelight and upperclassmen guys revel in their newfound status as experienced, and consequently desirable mates.
News travels fast, especially regarding sex. Though you may only tell two of your closest friends about your amazing weekend, the rest of your house or floor will find out soon enough.
Supposedly some fraternities even send out lists of girls, who hooked up with brothers during a party with links to their Facebook pictures. Be careful of getting things started while you're still at the party; you will have a lot of people staring at you and maybe some taking pictures. Nothing is sacred here at Hopkins.
There is a lot to learn about the Hopkins social scene. It pains me to say it, but the freshmen class is an integral part of it. Without them who would fill up the frat basements? Every Orientation, upperclassmen sit back and watch them pour into the parties in groups of 30 and predict their every move. After two beers, the girls are dancing on the stage and the guys are grinding up against the nearest thing with breasts. There is a 97 percent chance that the two people making out on the dance floor are freshmen. They provide hours of entertainment with their drunken sexual hilarity.
To be honest the upperclassmen boys are much more excited than the girls to "welcome" the freshmen class. Upperclassmen are like horses -- the guys go to stud while the girls go to glue.
As a freshmen girl, you are on the top of your game as the center of attention. Then sophomore year hits and suddenly you're not being asked to dance or play Beirut. Things are reversed for Hopkins guys, who, as upperclassmen, feel that they truly have the world at their feet.
It's obvious why girls prefer older guys. They have years of experience perfecting their charm, manners and pick-up lines. The worst ploy I've heard from an upperclassman was an offer for free designer jeans if the girl slept with him. The best part is that she supposedly fell for it.
Older guys have a sense of power, popularity and control, which is like crack for freshmen girls. It only seems logical that girls would prefer a mature guy who is, most likely, more experienced in bed.
What I find strange is that this logic does not apply to guys. Many upperclassmen guys shamelessly talk of their online stalking of the freshmen girls during the summer. They made proud declarations of their fall semester goal to personally greet as many freshmen girls as possible. The idea of fresh, untouched flesh drives them wild. As a freshmen girl once myself, I know how naïve the girls can be. It doesn't require a lot of effort to gain their interest, since there is no real chase. Guys, don't be surprised if you find yourself with a freshmen girl who doesn't know how to please you.
I doubt that my warning will discourage many guys, and, after reading this, you are probably more excited to hit on some freshmen girls, so here's my advice. After talking with a friend of mine, a sophomore, we agreed that upperclassmen girls are an untapped resource. They are feeling lonely and left out after having been replaced by their younger counterparts. More importantly these girls are sexually experienced and understand how to play the game. Freshmen girls may expect more after a night of fun and are likely to be clingy. They haven't had the experience being a hook up buddy rather than a girlfriend and don't yet appreciate pure physical fun. Next time you are tempted by an innocent freshmen, try shifting gears toward an upperclassman with more skill and experience.
Don't be deterred by the conservative bookworm stereotype of Hopkins. You will continuously hear of wild and raunchy adventures here on campus -- everything from sex in the baseball dugout to threesomes with lacrosse players. It all happens here on the Homewood campus. College is your chance to experiment and do inappropriate things. Just make sure no one tapes you doing it.
