You weren't keen on him when he was a Senator from Missouri. You cackled when he lost his re-election bid to a dead man. You were furious when he was nominated to the position of Attorney General. You were downright pissed when he announced that he told Vermont Senator Patrick Lehey that the those who wondered aloud about "lost liberties" were giving "aid and comfort" to terrorists. Nowadays, all you can do is laugh at John Ashcroft.
First, he draped the larger-than-life New Deal-era nude statues in the Justice Department building because it offended his delicate sensibilities. (He is a devout Pentecostal who doesn't drink, smoke or dance.) Then, a rumor surfaced that because of his superstitions, he checked in advance that there were no Calico cats in an American embassy he was planning on visiting, although his office denied that the request to remove any offensive felines was ever made. Say what you will about his draconian law-enforcement policies or his backward view of the War on Drugs, you have to agree that Ashcroft has been acting as if he was a little off of his rocker lately. Now, there's "Let the Eagle Soar." This song is patriotic without actually making any statement; it's long and wares thin after the first 10seconds and it was written by our very own Attorney General John Ashcroft. He has a history of singing, performing in a barbershop quartet with three other singers and releasing his own Christian music album.
Recently, CNN got a hold of footage of Ashcroft singing the unbearable "Let the Eagle Soar," which was picked up and quickly made a nightly gag by David Letterman.
Now, the Washington gossipers are abuzz with news that Ashcroft is using his office to promote his musical career. Apparently, the man who is in charge of federal law enforcement and prosecution brought a group of hispanic Justice Department employees to his office. Why? To translate "Let the Eagle Soar" into Spanish. Ashcroft has also distributed lyrics for the song to employees, encouraging sing-alongs to supplement his daily prayer meetings.
Congratulations, Mr. Ashcroft. You have surpassed Linkin Park and O-Town to be the sole holder of the title of Musical Act I Would Most Like To Never Hear Again.
