Published by the Students of Johns Hopkins since 1896
July 11, 2020

news-features



Security to track crime via computer

In an effort to better monitor the residences of students living off-campus, Johns Hopkins Security is working on a computer program that will map out the locations of various crimes committed in the surrounding areas.


Post break slump - Seriously Mock-Serious

Welcome back to lovely Baltimore, ladies and gents. I would like to be the first to congratulate you on surviving 10 days away from Orgo, Physics and all of the other rewarding and intellectually stimulating lectures you have done without over Spring Break. Tough times for all, no doubt. But let me reassure you, I'm just as motivated as you are to get right back into the swing of things.


Transit fix needed

Last spring, students in Matthew Crenson's course, Baltimore: Place and Race, created a short documentary video, Sick Transit, examining Baltimore's lack of adequate transportation and the effect it has on the population of Baltimore City. The piece gives a brief history of public transportation in Baltimore and directly and indirectly addresses the issues of suburbanization, urban poverty in Baltimore City, and examines the role that public transit plays in what kind of jobs are available to city residents.


A two-faced Master Plan

For the last two years, these pages have featured many articles about the Master Plan, most of them negative. Three of the four undergraduate classes have not enjoyed an entire year free from the sound of jackhammers and the peril of construction trucks navigating Homewood's winding roads.



A subversive plan to boost revenue - Or, how lowering Maryland's drinking age to 18 will move Hopkins up in the rankings

It goes without saying that in your time at college, someone has brought up, over some fraudulently obtained drinks, the issue of the drinking age. We've all heard the tirade: If citizens between the ages of 18 and 20 can vote, drive and are expected to fight and die for their country, why can't they enjoy a cold, refreshing beer before being shipped off to Afghanistan, Yemen, the Philippines or wherever else we're sending troops these days?


Cool games, ancient roots

Some of the most popular board games have ancient origins, dating back centuries. In some cases, they even predate the wheel. Games played by many American children have far-flung foreign origins and fascinating histories. Here are but a few of the most curious examples.


Last week's answers and winner

The winner of last week's quiz was Raj Chopra. Come around to the Gatehouse on Tuesday or Wednesday night to pick up your booze and munchies certificate.


Hopkins' Zerhouni picked to lead NIH

President Bush officially announced his nomination of Dr. Elias Zerhouni to direct the National Institutes of Health (NIH) this past Tuesday in a ceremony held in the East Room of the White House. Zerhouni is currently the Executive Vice Dean of the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine and now awaits confirmation from the Senate before he can fill the position.


Renovations ongoing in Garland basement

Starting in mid-February, the Office of Facilities Management began renovations in the basement of Garland Hall, which included demolition, construction and asbestos abatement. The renovations will affect certain student services offices, Hopkins Information Technology Services (HITS) and other various offices including the Office of the General Counsel.


Adventures on the Fla. ranch - Fear and Loathing at Hopkins

My personal physician, Dr. David Weishaus, and I had decided to escape from Baltimore and return home to Florida for Spring Break. The first day back, the good Doctor and I decided to go to the beach for some light drinking and heavy surfing. On a whim, we resolved to find out how many of our friends were still in town and see if any of them wanted to join us. Luckily, a well-racked lady friend we knew from high school, who gives blow jobs that are so ferociously slow, they've been known to cause nose bleeds, happened to be in town. With towels in hand, we loaded into a jeep and headed for an isolated stretch of beach only known to high-schoolers in the area.


Lazy eye cured by eyedrops

A study conducted by Dr. Michael Repka, a pediatric ophthalmologist at Johns Hopkins University shows that medicated eye drops can be just as effective as an eye patch in curing amblyopia, or lazy eye. The eye drops will also be much easier on the child because they do not carry with them the social problems created by making a child wear a patch over their eye.


Abandoned Pools' Tommy Walter chats it up

Tommy Walter, formerly of the Eels, left that band to write and record his own material before the Eels even finished a second record. Walters, whose new band is called Abandoned Pools, recorded the material on Humanistic in his South Pasadena apartment and took the bare tracks to Boston's Q Division studio, where he worked with producers Paul Q. Koderie and Sean Slade. Abandoned Pools issued Humanistic in September of 2001. The News-Letter's own Brian Udoff caught up with Walter at the end of the Flickerstick/Abandoned Pools tour in Old Bridge, N.J. on Feb. 26.


Einhorn named dean of SAIS

On March 17, University President William R. Brody announced the appointment of Jessica Einhorn to the position of dean of the Paul H. Nitze School of Advanced International Studies (SAIS) in Washington, D.C.


Showtime tackles two genres

The battle of the sexes is perhaps at its greatest in the movie theater. Most guys want action thrillers, and most girls insist on sappy dramas; B-level comedies become ground for compromise. Once in a while, though, a movie manages to integrate these genres, a la Ocean's Eleven, into a film that appeals to males and females alike. Such is the case with Warner Bros.' latest release, Showtime, in which comedy, action, semi-attractive guys and parody intermingle with moderate success.


Smokers are people, not criminals

Illegal activities take place all the time in this country. And not sort-of crimes but real, violent crimes. One would think that we as a society would focus our efforts at preventing these crimes. Still, every day there are millions of law abiding Americans who are persecuted and pushed farther and farther to the fringes of society: smokers.


Winning requires lying, cheating - The Cock Block

Loyal readers of The Cock Block, I am about to introduce you to perhaps the best game ever to be created. The complexity of the game in question is daunting. In fact, I could probably write an entire article just about the rules. But that need not detain us at the current juncture, for the game itself is beautiful in its majesty. By now, anyone who knows me has probably guessed the game I have in mind.


How to obtain gym etiquette - Fitness is Beautiful

I have had several conversations with different people about starting up an exercise routine. Almost always, the excuse comes down to not feeling comfortable in the gym. For many reasons, this is because when they walk in, they don't know what to do or how to act. Gym etiquette, as it is commonly known, has been openly debated in the country. What are the proper manners and conduct in the gym?


ePrompter: The best e-mail program ever - Pop Tech

I received perhaps the most appalling e-mail ever last week. It was from Yahoo!, which I use for free POP3 mail service, among other things. The message informed me that, as of April 24th, the Yahoo! Mail POP3 and forwarding services will no longer be free, and that I could sign up for a reduced rate for the new for-pay package. Now, they think they have me by the electronic balls, that I will have to pay or be forced to switch e-mail addresses, which involves the terrible process of tracking down everyone I may or may not know, who may or may not want to e-mail me, and sending them a notice of the change, which will most likely be deleted before it's been read, and so on.


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