The JHU Stand-Up Comedy Club, also known as SUCC, performed a series of routines on Saturday, Sept. 29 at its “Suit and Tie” show. Comedians covered topics like relationships, violence and Donald Trump while dressed in formal attire.
SUCC leader Nick Scandura began the show with a personal story from a party where all participants in the game went around the table to answer questions about themselves.
“The question was, what’s the nastiest thing that you’ve ever done. Everybody had some cool sex stuff, and my answer was that when I went to a toga party freshman year, I came back and put those sheets back on my bed. I didn’t wash them for a month,” Scandura said. “Freshmen — do not do this. You should wash your sheets every two weeks.
Scandura now answers questions like these with false statements.
“[Next time] they asked, who’s the weirdest person that you’ve ever hooked up with? Probably Father James,” he said.
He also offered life advice for the prospective serial killer when he described how Papa John’s, “Oh Yes We Did,” campaign could be exploited.
“You kill the guy, and then you’d just spray paint ‘Oh Yes We Did,’ next to the body,” Scandura said.
He also expressed cautionary advice for dealing with the clowns in your life.
“A clown at your birthday party — that’s funny,” Scandura said. “But what about the clown that you didn’t invite? Or about the clown driving the clown car but then the clown driving your Uber late at night?”
He made a comment about clowns blowing up hospitals, but I think it’s best that I not include a transcription of it.
Current events were also a prominent topic. Sophomore Jack Lane concluded that America should alter its voting rules.
“If you watch more porn than news, you should not be allowed to vote,” he said. “Secondary proposition: We just put more current events into porn.”
He also covered topics such as advertising and the 2002 invasion of Iraq, which he imagined are more closely related than many of us believe. He used the words of an athlete’s commercials to characterize how George Bush must have felt before the war.
He also wanted to share a new term which he created and identifies with.
“Sometimes when I struggle with writing these jokes, I can’t get the words, meanings, or phrases right,” Lane said. “I just can’t get the meaning right. I guess you could say that I’m anti-semantics.”
Sophomore Benjy Monteagudo said that the beloved SEGA video game franchise could be used for alternative purposes. The game, Shadow the Hedgehog, received a round of applause from the crowd. He then characterized this as a game that should be Donald Trump’s propaganda.
“In this game, you go around shooting aliens with guns. As I played this game, I thought to myself: There is a very strong illegal immigration subtext... Let’s be honest: If Donald Trump made us play Shadow the Hedgehog, that wall would be up by now,“ he said.
This is a misrepresentation of the franchise. Hedgehogs do not have political views. I, for one, do not appreciate the association of a beloved (though mediocre) game with Trump’s immigration policy.
Sophomore Amani Nelson discussed how her white friends react to attending a black church.
“It’s like with white people who go on service trips to Uganda,” she said. “They were clearly uncomfortable the entire time, but when they get back they’re like, ‘I’m changed.’ They say ‘the music is incredible, the ladies were in these colorful hats. And then the chicken, oh my god it was like chicken, and then they put seasoning on it.’”
Every SUCC event I’ve been to has progressively improved in quality. Each show brings in new faces, and I highly recommend getting to the group’s next sure-to-be-hilarious show.