I'm not afraid to say I love eating in bed

One of my favorite things to do in life is to eat, and another is to stay in bed. It is therefore inevitable that I would like eating in bed. I’ve been surprised by the disgust people tend to express when I say I eat in bed. I clean up any crumbs I might spill. 

I rarely, if ever, eat something messy on my bed — and I have low standards for what constitutes a “messy” meal. I consider pasta a messy meal, so I wouldn’t take it to bed with me. When eating pasta, I always eat it in a bowl, because it’s harder for food to fall off of a bowl than off a plate. I also make sure to wipe off my mouth after every bite. Napkins tend to pile up around me while I eat anything remotely messy, and there’s no way I would leave dirty napkins on my bed.

So what do I usually end up eating in bed? Snacks — namely, cookies and cereal. I consider cereal a comfort food that I can eat at any time of day. I love pretty much every type of cereal. If it comes with dried fruit, like raisins, I’ll pick out those out, but the processed grain is always delicious. (If you couldn’t tell by now, I’m a huge fan of carbs. I’ve never skipped a pizza crust.)

Unfortunately, one downside of eating in bed is that it’s extremely easy to get carried away and turn the “snack” into a full-blown meal. I’ve been doing this for the past two months (and without working out), so I realize I’ve fallen into an unhealthy habit. I’ve got to put a stop to it sometime soon, but the appeal of just sitting there in bed and munching on cereal is overwhelming. It gives me a sense of calm and returns me to my childhood days when I didn’t have any responsibilities in life. It’s a form of therapy for me. 

I do wish I could find healthier activities that give me the same tranquil feeling. Lots of people like taking a walk, but a simple stroll around the neighborhood just makes me feel purposeless instead. Plus, walking isn’t beneficial unless you go out there for at least half an hour to get a few thousand steps in. I’d be constantly checking my watch to see when I could sit down again. 

I’m an extremely impatient person. I tend to go to the gym in spurts (a few weeks of working out everyday and then totally avoiding the gym for the next few months). And then I wonder where the progress is once the workout is over. 

If I do 10 squats, I’ll be looking in the mirror right afterwards to see if my butt got any bigger. People who can actually be patient and consistent with their workouts truly awe me, and I aspire to be like them. Same goes for the people who say their daily relaxation comes from working out. 

I’m also pretty inconsistent. I know I just said earlier that I rarely eat anything messy in bed, but I did do just that last Wednesday night (well, Thursday morning — it was 3 a.m.). I ate a tub of Taharka Matcha Mochi ice cream in bed while studying for two quizzes I had in the morning. I didn’t consider ice cream messy at all while eating it in bed: It’s contained, and it’s not like my spoon was dripping it anywhere.

But now I realize that ice cream is messy. I fell asleep while studying, without closing the tub. I then woke up a few hours later feeling incredibly icky, and I saw melted ice cream all over my floor, clothes, bedsheets and, most unfortunately, my laptop. I spent the next hour cleaning everything and filling my laundry hamper up. My laptop survived, but part of the trackpad no longer works.

I should probably take this experience as a lesson not to eat in bed. Even someone who used his pajamas as his outside wear everyday called my habit disgusting. (Although I think not changing clothes is far more gross.) But do I ever learn my lesson? The answer to that one should be pretty clear.