Remember the humanity behind the headline

This morning, I sat down to finish my opinion piece on the effect that Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi’s visit to the U.S. would have on U.S.-Pakistan relations, and how President Obama should maneuver in this diplomatic minefield of a relationship. I was prepared. I had done my research: I knew that every American president since Kennedy has tried to intervene in the Pakistan-India conflict, how the disputed Kashmiri border came to be and why it mattered so much to the people of both countries. I knew how vital both Pakistan and India were to the counter-terrorism efforts of the U.S. in the Middle East and across Asia. I knew how the Pakistan-India conflict inserted a huge, sometimes seemingly insurmountable wedge in America’s diplomatic relations. I was ready. I was excited.

But on this morning, as I was doing some final Googling to make sure I had all my facts right, news broke out that thousands of Kashmiri villagers were fleeing their homes after Indian and Pakistani troops began to fire at one another across the border. Pakistani officials have declared a death toll of four on their side, including two children. Indian officials have declared a death toll of five, including one 13-year-old girl. Indian officials claim that Pakistani troops fired first and that their troops simply retaliated, while Pakistani officials retorted that Indian troops had, in fact, fired first and that their troops simply retaliated.

These innocent deaths are an unfortunate, yet comparatively minor, amount of collateral damage caused by a relatively small skirmish within the context of India-Pakistan relations. It is yet another violation of the 2003 ceasefire that was originally constructed with the goal of de-escalating tensions. Pakistani officials will undoubtedly condemn India, and Indian officials will respond by further condemning Pakistan. Pakistani politicians will exploit the situation just as their Indian counterparts will. The White House won’t release a statement either, and even if it does, the statement will likely be a perfectly calculated, impartial one, emphasizing phrases such as “both parties must take responsibility.” Rinse and repeat every year or so.

I think it is often difficult to remember that the deaths, statistics, numbers and pictures across the newspapers and next to Brian Williams’s face and on the Internet have real stories behind them — real people, with real families that have been affected by the policies we read about. At least 100,000 Kashmiri citizens have been killed in the past two decades. At least 1,000 civilians in Pakistan have been killed in the past five years because of drone strikes, and who knows how many more when you factor in all those other countries our drones fly through? At least 3,400 people have died from Ebola in West Africa, but did you hear about that man in Texas with Ebola and the other one in D.C.? It was Stalin or some French guy — sources vary — who said “a single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.”

Already, Pakistani newspapers are urging India to show restraint and Indian newspapers are urging Pakistan to show restraint. Guns and fingers are pointed almost simultaneously. The Indian government will use this to show the United States that Pakistan cannot be trusted and is in bed with extremists. The Pakistani government will use this to show the United States that India is willing to be violent even on the Muslim holiday of Eid-ul-Azha.

The Pakistani, Indian and American governments should remember to maintain the level of humanity inherent in this and not manipulate it. It is easy to dream up policies and opinions without remembering the humanity and the stories and the lives behind the numbers. It is easy to see bloody picture after bloody picture in The New York Times and shrug it off, desensitized.

I know I often struggle to remember the humanity behind the headline. But I think it’s important to struggle and push against the easy choice to desensitize and grow numb. Tragedy and evil thrive on fear and ignorance. Facing these fears with deep understanding and sympathy is one small way to fight back. I hope the Pakistani, Indian and American governments are willing to do this instead of continuing the tradition of  impartial statements, blame and manipulation — and if not this time, then the inevitable next time. For there will be another, but the outcome can be different if the humanity entangled in these conflicts is more than an afterthought.