Beyoncé halftime show set list disappoints

I’m not a huge connoisseur of the Super Bowl, and even less so of the half time show. I mean, my hometown team is the Detroit Lions. And they’re just … not going to a Super Bowl anytime soon. I’ve got to be realistic.

In terms of music, I listen to a lot of strange, folksy rock that my Pandora account gives me. Simply put, the obscurity of my music tastes precludes any of my favorite performers  from ever being Super Bowl Halftime Show performers.

Super Bowl XLVII was a little different, though. My adopted team, the Ravens, made it to the big game. Suffices to say, I had to watch. Then there were the whispers on Perez Hilton that Destiny’s Child would be reuniting and doing a set during the halftime show. And as a child of the early ’00s, I totally remember “Say My Name” playing on the Disney Channel in between television shows.

So in order to evoke my elementary-school self, I tuned in, hoping that sometime during the halftime show, it would happen. The fact that the Friday before Joan Rivers hosted a Fashion Police Super Bowl Special where they dissected the costumes of performers past also piqued my interest.

By the time the second quarter was out, I was ready for King B to take the stage.

The lighting and stage design was impressive, though it didn’t go without notice that Mrs. Carter completely missed her mark a time or two. And I could definitely do without that mirror trick where there were a dozen Beyoncés on stage. One is more than enough as far as I’m concerned.

I’m no great fan of Beyoncé, so I own my ignorance as to a majority of the songs on her set-list. Where my fellow watchers were bouncing along to the first couple songs, I sat in a La-z-boy waiting patiently to see if the rumors were true. But there was another thing on my wish list: “Single Ladies” and the accompanying dance. Almost halfway through the show and no “Single Ladies,” I was about to call it quits. When Kelly Rowland and Michelle Williams popped up on stage my hopes for “Single Ladies” was dashed, but I was still holding out for “Say my Name.”

The three of them on the stage reminded me, for some reason, of Gladiator. Except with dancing. The leather costume was great on when only one person was wearing it, but all three of them looked a little too matchy-matchy.

Then, the unthinkable happened: Beyoncé actually shared the spotlight with the other two Destiny’s Children in performing “Single Ladies,” the unlikely anthem of my senior year Advanced Placement Biology course. Unfortunately, though, the trio butchered the best part of the song—which is the dance. And then there was that funny thing going on with the microphone volume: my working theory is that Beyoncé had hers turned up while Michelle Williams and Kelly Rowland had theirs turned down. That, or everyone but Beyoncé was a little pitchy.

I tried to hang in there. Even after the botched “Single Ladies,” I waited. And waited. And still waited. But Beyoncé and her reunited group didn’t “Say my Name.”

In remedy, I thought it appropriate to give the song it’s due. That’s what YouTube is all about.