Breaking Dawn Part II: not again, KStew

I’d never walked out of a theatre midway through a movie — that is, until the Twilight series was released.

It’s that time of year again: Breaking Dawn: Part II is coming out next week. Young teen girls all over the world are watching and re-watching the trailers as they prepare for the cinematic event of the year.

With the release of each new Twilight film, I find myself becoming more and more passionate about them, in a negative way, a very negative way. What has the world come to? When did it become common practice to pay good money to watch complete and utter crap?

I’ve encountered my fair share of bad movies over the years. There is no denying that horrible movies have been released before; I even enjoy seeing bad movies with friends for a good laugh.

But I have to say, Twilight is one of the worst movies to date, and the most recent movie in the series wasn’t even slightly humorous in its horribleness.

Worst of all, it has made millions of dollars and done phenomenally well at the box office.

What has become of the world?

You might be wondering where my hatred for Twilight came from.

Well, I have a very long list of reasons as to why the series is so bad, but I will list only a few:

First, there were the books the movies are based on.

They themselves, are horrific.

As a Writing Seminars major, I have a particular hatred for bad writing and grammatical errors, but these books were beyond that.

Reading the first in the series made me question where Stephenie Meyer had learned to write. I was driven to read the fourth book out of extreme boredom while spending a weekend at a friend’s place.

After wasting a few good hours of my life, I realized I would have rather spent those hours banging my head against a wall.

I’m not even sure it qualifies to be a book. In order for writing to receive a title, something has to happen in between its pages.

In the first few hundred pages of Breaking Dawn, the characters prepare for a possible battle, which never ends up happening.

There was only one mildly interesting scene, and it was beyond disturbing. The main human character, Bella, gave birth to a vampire, and then her former love interest fell in love with her newborn.

Sadly, I am not making this up.

My second reason for disliking the movies is based on my first: the plot, which, in case it wasn’t clear enough from my description before, is awful.

The fourth book is by far the worst, and since the only mildly interesting parts of that story occur in the beginning of the novel, I’m not entirely sure is going to occur in Part II of Breaking Dawn.

Although, if it’s anything like the first, I’m sure we’ll get treated to exceedingly long and dull scenes of the actors and actresses doing nothing.

My third reason stems off of that: the acting.

Never have I seen such bad acting in a movie.

When I saw the first movie with a group of friends, I found myself cringing away from the screen.

It was literally painful to watch. Kristen Stewart blinked every second as she spoke, and yet I found I could not look away. She paused in her speech far too often, she stuttered, and she even looked like she was in pain from her own performance.

Robert Pattinson, although, not nearly as bad as Stewart (I don’t think anyone could be if they tried), was painful to watch, too.

As he stepped into the sun and sparkled for Stewart to see, I found myself laughing out loud at what the director definitely intended to be a very serious, deep scene.

Their performances got worse with each movie, and personally, I found the most recent film to be the worst.

The combination of bad acting and no plot at all led to a horrible product.

Of course, there’s also the lovely addition of the actor who plays Jasper, Jackson Rathbone. His role in the movie seems to be standing in the corner with wide, frightened eyes, saying nothing, ever.

Who directs these movies?

Because of Twilight’s past failures, and the awful book this new movie is based on (or rather, half of a book), I cannot even imagine how bad this movie will be.

It saddens me to think of all the money that is poured into these movies that could be put toward a better cause.

Also, why did there have to be a second movie?

Twilight needs to stop trying to be Harry Potter. That series at least had enough material for two movies. It’s debatable if Breaking Dawn even had enough material for one movie.

I am looking forward to the end of this particularly awful series.

I am also hoping it will lead to the end of a particular couple of vampires’ careers.

I’ve personally seen enough of Stewart’s angst-filled expressions and Pattinson’s unwashed hair.