“Real Housewife” speaks at B’More Book Festival

The Baltimore Book Festival had actual books, with legitimate authors and even a Grammy nominee.  But the sole reason I went was to meet Teresa Giudice, of “Real Housewives of New Jersey” fame.

I have absolutely no reason to be so obsessed with the “Real Housewives.” I’m not even from New Jersey, but I can’t stop watching the ridiculous arguments and family dynamics. When I found out that Teresa was coming to Mt. Vernon to promote her third cookbook, I decided that this was too good to pass up. The timing couldn’t have been more perfect, as the insane season finale had just aired last week.

The website for the festival said that Teresa was not only signing books, but that she was going to make a keynote speech at their “Ladies Night Out” event on Friday, the first night of the festival. There’s really nothing empowering or inspirational about Teresa, as this season is centered around her inability to have a normal relationship with her brother, which ends up alienating all of her cast members. Obviously, I had very high expectations for this speech.

When my friend and I got to Mt. Vernon, it was obvious that the crowd was there for Ledisi, a singer I’d never heard of. She was actually someone who should be giving an inspirational talk. We headed over to the books and promptly bought Teresa’s cookbook for a whopping $20. Teresa got into a lot of trouble this season for her last cookbook, in which she decided to insult basically everyone she knows because she thought it was funny.

This cookbook was less insulting, to our disappointment. There were only a few Olive Garden references, which of course had nothing to do with co-star Caroline Manzo’s Italian heritage. The recipes looked delicious, which isn’t surprising because all the Real Housewives do is cook lavish Italian meals and fight over what types of cookies are better.

Teresa stepped into the crowded tent at 7 p.m., but to my great disappointment, she didn’t have a speech prepared for us.Instead, entertainment, food and travel reporter Diane Macklin, known in Baltimore as “Downtown Diane,” read off a few questions from Twitter and took questions from the audience.

At first, they were annoyingly mundane questions, such as where to get Teresa’s signature drink, Fabellini, and her new hair product, Milania Professional Hair Care, named after her spunky daughter. By the way, I am convinced that Milania will have her own reality show by the time that she’s ten.

When Teresa brought up her husband Joe, and said that he was there drinking somewhere, the Q & A took a turn for the better. The season finale was filmed a year ago, but since the public had just watched it, they had a lot of questions. Teresa explained how she had no role in setting up her sister-in-law, and that her husband did not cheat on her (both dubious claims). She also told us that the reunion, the first part of which aired last Sunday, was going to be very interesting.

The weirdest part of the night, however, was when she signed our cookbooks for us. It was so strange to see someone who I’ve watched screaming and flipping tables on TV appear to be so calm and polite. She even got into a conversation with my friend over Jersey geography. It’s kind of sad that her life as a reality star means that she has to spend her Friday nights signing books for fans and doing her best to convince them that she’s a good person.