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(05/02/03 5:00am)
Here it is, boys and girls, my final appearance in my home away from home, the little grey and black box on Page B7. So, here are the final picks of the year, before it's time for you underclassmen to start studying and for us seniors to stop partying and start worrying about our upcoming jobs in the food service industry.
(04/24/03 5:00am)
Well, boys and girls, the end is rapidly approaching, and I've got a few more events to talk about before my tenure in this little black and grey shaded box is over.
(04/17/03 5:00am)
Though it's Passover, and my rabbi won't give me a dispensation for drinking beer, there are still a lot of cool events going on around town.
(04/17/03 5:00am)
Hello, my name is Martin, and I am apparently a Hipster. One may ask how I arrived at this tentative conclusion. Well, quite simple, really -- I took the quiz.
(11/21/02 5:00am)
Before you head home and gorge yourself with turkey, there are some excellent shows to check out around Charm City. In times like these, perhaps a few lessons can be gained by the harp and guitar stylings of the man who invented folk-rock. This Thursday night at the GMU Patriot Center, Bob Dylan and his band will be performing. You can purchase your tickets through http://www.tickets.com.
(11/17/02 5:00am)
Polo Grill
(11/17/02 5:00am)
Desert Cafe
(11/07/02 5:00am)
Exam time is nearly upon us, meaning that you only have a few more weeks to get out on the town before carbon bonds and esters and ethers (oh my!) descend upon your life. Two weeks ago, I caught Il Culo at the Ottobar happy hour with a different lineup. Though their crazy guitarist wasn't nearly as into the drums, they did add an organist who added a nice funk sound to their usual experimental lineup. Perhaps they'll do it again this week? Only one way to find out; check out the Ottobar Happy Hour, running from 6 to 8 p.m. tonight.
(11/07/02 5:00am)
This past weekend, I attended an opening at the Mission Space for a show by a graffiti artist named Bask. One of the pieces, entitled "Meat-Market," featured dozens, if not hundreds, of cut-out pornographic images showing women in all positions. The text of the painting read: "Now hiring for all positions, great exploitation possibilities," "Your daily dose of misogyny," and a sign reading "This could be you" with an arrow pointing to a woman being taken from behind while performing oral sex on a second man and manipulating a third. The painting was also strewn with pop-culture images, from the dollars and cents sign to pink hearts, symbolizing the relationship between love and money and the love for money.
(10/31/02 5:00am)
This week, we have some ghoulish undertakings here in Baltimore. Tonight, for those of you looking to do something Halloweeny with a bunch of your friends, take a cab (trust me, you don't want to drive) down to Fell's Point for their annual Halloween hullabaloo. Meet hundreds of your costumed counterparts from Towson, Goucher and UMBC in a drunken orgy of under-aged college kids trying to pass off their sister's driver's license (which expired in 1984) to get into Bohager's. This event, though fun, is neither for the weak of heart nor those who don't like public drunkenness at its known limits. A note to the ladies: don't wear high heels, because all of Fell's Point is covered with historical and heel-breaking cobblestone.
(10/24/02 5:00am)
This Thursday at the Ottobar, the upstairs happy hour runs from 6-9 p.m., with the live jazz of Il Culo. Downstairs, the Rock Bottom Stylings of Honky Slim, a garage-influenced band (sorry, can't be more specific than that) will be playing. Check http://www.theottobar.com for more info.
(09/12/02 5:00am)
At the end of the school year, I always look forward to a summer spent reading books that I wouldn't usually get to read. Whether it's a heavy Russian novel or those books assigned in Occ. Civ. that you were just too busy to get around to, the end of the semester gives the Johns Hopkins student a chance to dust the literary cobwebs out of his head. In compiling my summer reading list, I decided to include the works of some of my professors in the Writing Seminars. Stephen Dixon's I. (McSweeney's) and Jean McGarry's Dream Date (JHU Press) are two of the latest works of fiction out of the department. Almost opposites in style and form, Dixon and McGarry still manage to highlight how different approaches to fiction can produce two readable and enjoyable works.
(09/05/02 5:00am)
Though it was Socrates who said "Know thyself," I say, as my advice to the incoming class of 2006, "Know the history of thy university." While still uncertain whether or not "thine" was the correct pronoun for that last sentence, I can say with certainty that I'm extremely uncertain as to the history of our University.
(04/18/02 5:00am)
Have you ever watched porn? Sure, we all have. Chances are, then, that you've encountered one of the most unlikely stars to ever hit the porno industry. Ron Jeremy, star of the X-rated screen, has appeared in literally thousands of pornographic movies, spanning from the late 1970s up to the present day.
(04/11/02 5:00am)
Well, it seems like we've hit the home stretch, folks. With the weather slowly but surely improving to near-Florida standards, magical things are happening on Homewood Campus (with or without the recent 'shroom imports from Kentucky). Soon, those Seasonal Affective Disorder blues will be gone, the birds and the bees will be out in full swarm, and Spring Fair -- and more importantly, the Spring Fair Beer Garden -- will soon be upon us. I look forward to vomiting on each and every one of you before profaning members of your immediate family. But before that, we have some pressing business to attend to -- namely, online registration for Fall 2002.
(03/28/02 5:00am)
My personal physician, Dr. David Weishaus, and I had decided to escape from Baltimore and return home to Florida for Spring Break. The first day back, the good Doctor and I decided to go to the beach for some light drinking and heavy surfing. On a whim, we resolved to find out how many of our friends were still in town and see if any of them wanted to join us. Luckily, a well-racked lady friend we knew from high school, who gives blow jobs that are so ferociously slow, they've been known to cause nose bleeds, happened to be in town. With towels in hand, we loaded into a jeep and headed for an isolated stretch of beach only known to high-schoolers in the area.
(03/07/02 5:00am)
I want money, and I want it bad. While some of you plebeians have turned to on-campus employment or nagging to mommy and daddy for additional cash, I have discovered an easier and more reliable way of getting that little bit of extra currency: The 2002 Provost's Undergraduate Research Award.