Your Hopkins Horoscope
Aries
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Aries
It is recommended that the average person drink eight 8-ounce glasses of water a day to help relieve fatigue, aid digestion and alleviate pain. The best way to stay hydrated is through the use of readily available, clean and safe public drinking water, as we are privileged to have here on the Homewood Campus of Johns Hopkins University.
Though I was not granted permission to see any of these movies until my early teens, phrases like “this place is so confusing” and “it’s in Johnson’s underwear” were often part of my everyday conversations. No movie, however, was quoted more in my household than Sixteen Candles.
Amidst all the will-they-won’t-they drama between Chuck and Blair are scattered these complicated listings of painful side effects spoken over images of actors who can finally be happy after getting over their joint pain/diarrhoea/migraines. This direct to consumer (DTC) advertising is commonplace here in America. According to the World Health Organization, the only other place in the world where a soothing narrator talking about the possibility of anti-diarrheal medication making your anus fall out wouldn’t get a second look is New Zealand. That’s right, the U.S. has more in common with New Zealand than an official language and a history of exploiting indigenous peoples.
Some of these songs merely remind me of those times, others bear messages that I believe could be helpful to all new and returning students. Everyone’s music taste is unique, but I hope everyone can find something on here that speaks to them. Enjoy!
St. Clair, living in Los Angeles, is an icon in the making. He is a singer, songwriter and producer who just released his first solo single Aug. 19. The song is called “Man on Fire” and Earl St. Clair is bound to be his own man on fire as his career skyrockets with his single and EP.
It is a vain struggle to tire out the young men and women who have just been dropped into the lawless world of college. Though these events may not have the effect desired by the Hopkins administration, I am more than happy to take advantage of them.
This is a column by an easily distracted, Wikipedia-loving college student who can’t identify run-on sentences and isn’t even majoring in history. So be prepared for a lot of guessing and a strong prejudice for the absurd, weird and, above all, irrelevant. Here we go.
The Beach
Here at Hopkins, we take studying seriously. We’re notorious for being a university filled with hard-working students who are willing to dedicate a good portion, if not all, of their time to academics. Fittingly, we have a plethora of study spots to choose from within our beautiful campus, so whether you like a silent spaces or social settings, group work or independent learning, there is a perfect place for you.
The restaurant scene in Charles Village is filled with an eclectic mix of cuisines and cultures, if you know where to look.
For anyone new to Baltimore, and for anyone who’s been around for a few years but wants to change up their food routine, here’s a tour of some of the restaurants you might have been missing near the off-campus stops of the JHMI shuttle route.
Welcome to your first year at Hopkins! We know picking classes can be overwhelming and confusing, so here’s some advice from six upperclassmen.
Self-described “coastal person,” Naadiya Hutchinson chose to spend her summer in the second most populous landlocked country in the world: Uganda. Working with the Rakai Health and Sciences Program, Hutchinson has been spending her precious time away from school researching HIV and working on her documentary on black identity. Though she didn’t know what to expect coming into the job, she came to love her time there as well as the many people she met and befriended.
As you probably already know, Hopkins students never have fun. We don’t think about anything but the MCAT (or the GRE, or the LSAT, oh my), working hard, avoiding failure, Ronnie D (praise be unto him), tending to our constantly growing pile of homework, and of course avoiding failure. Like rats in a maze, we skitter around the MSE Library for four years, give or take one, then leave as the merciless, fun-hating automatons that Hopkins has trained us to be.
There are a lot of different types of chairs. There also are a lot of different types of professors at Hopkins. Here’s what would happen if some of those professors became chairs. Or maybe these chairs turned into professors. How do metaphors even work anyway?
Hopkins is home to a huge number of clubs and extracurricular activities, so we decided to highlight just a few of them. Take a look at what the members have to say about their groups, and be sure to check out the Student Involvement Fair on Sept. 9!