I wouldn't be going out on a limb if I said that Carson Daly is a tool. I've heard it before and I think I'll chime right in with the chorus. We all hated him on Total Request Live, and if you've seen his new show on NBC, Last Call with Carson Daly, you probably hate him even more.
On TRL, Daly, although incredibly annoying to everyone but the hundreds of screaming teeny boppers who line the streets of Times Square, fits the role of the MTV host. Of course, that doesn't take much, as long as you can throw in words like "phat' and "sweet' every five seconds and grovel at the feet of any artist who visits. Unfortunately for Daly, he'll probably be using such words well into his thirties, when Last Call is cancelled and he's stuck at MTV like Kurt Loder.
Forget the fact that Carson Daly is a giant tool. I know it's hard, but for the sake of this article, please. The bottom line is that Last Call will soon join the ranks of such late-night television classics as The Magic Hour with Magic Johnson and The Chevy Chase Show with Mr. Chase himself.
Of course, by "classics,' I truly mean "miserable failures.' The Chevy Chase Show lasted only six weeks and The Magic Hour lasted a mere 12 weeks. This begs the question: What is it that makes some late-night comedy shows successful, while others disappear more quickly than a twinkie in Oprah's hand? Here are three rules that we've learned from the miserable failure of so many late-night shows.
Rule #1: Celebrity status means nothing: One thing that we've learned from the ever-growing graveyard of celebrity hosted late-night shows is that being a celebrity before your show starts is a bad, bad thing. To establish yourself as a comedian and late-night show host first is ideal. I was not personally privileged enough to watch more than one episode of The Magic Hour, but all I remember is Johnson dribbling a basketball (definitely not a good idea). The minute the audience saw Johnson as a basketball star and not a late show comedian (which would be during minute one), the show was doomed to failure.
Rule #2: Stay away from the Fox network: Although Fox has built itself up to be a true contender among major television networks, it still has miles to go in the late night department (and no, X-Files doesn't count). Fox has been home to Mad TV (is it even on anymore?), The Chevy Chase Show, The Keenan Ivory Wayans Show (lasting only one year), The Magic Hour and The Sinbad Show (lasting only nine months)
Rule #3: There's no substitute for talent: Hire all the writers you want, get a great band and great musical guests and pack the show with all the celebrity friends you have. In the end, it won't cover up your obvious lack of talent. This is why Last Call will soon fail: Carson Daly simply isn't funny and is one of the worst interviewers on television. He isn't quick on his feet at all and his personality is duller than Dan Rather's.
When will television executives learn these simple rules? Hopefully, the answer is never. The funniest thing to watch on television sometimes is just how bad some of these fledgling shows are. Meanwhile, as each late-night failure disappears, another celebrity with nothing better to do is walking into a FOX executive's office with an idea in his head. In less than six months, he'll be out of a job.
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