How to eat Hopkins food

I'm off the meal plan. Perhaps that will tell you something about on-campus food at Hopkins. Don't get me wrong, though. The food isn't that bad. You just have to know how to eat it. Trust me, it's more complicated than just chewing.

You've already received numerous brochures about the on-campus meal plan telling you how great it is. Hey, with clever names like "Pastabilities" for their pasta bar, why couldn't it be somewhat good, right?

Please. Let's be realistic now. The meal plan is never going to offer lobster tails and filet mignon for two bucks a day. It isn't terrible, but it will never be perfect, no matter how much students whine and complain about it. So, while you're a freshman and have no choice but to be on the meal plan, you should learn how to survive on it without becoming one of those students who complains about everything on campus. Here is some advice from my experience last year on the meal plan:

Megabytes: A good choice, as long as you don't mind eating mainly greasy food for your meals. The best thing about Megabytes is that you can expect the same good food quality every time you go there. The main complaints that students have about Megabytes is that it takes too long to get your food and for the money you pay, you don't get much. Their burgers, chicken quesadillas, chicken fingers and buffalo chicken sandwiches are very good. Steer clear of their cheese steaks, though.

Wolman: Many freshmen prefer Wolman over Terrace because it has more variety. The Taco Bell Express at Wolman is pretty good, but trust me, you'll get sick of it quickly. The pasta bar is terrible, the pizza varies in quality, the burgers are alright, and the specials are risky. The deli also looks really good, considering they bake their own bread and make sandwiches to order. However, every time I had a sandwich there, it was disappointing. My favorite thing about Wolman last year was the "Taste Tester," which was a daily special that was separate from everything else. Taste Tester specials included gyros (amazing), cheesesteaks, chicken wings, Caesar salad and other snacks. Occasionally, Wolman also has outstanding desserts like peanut butter pie.

Terrace: The best part about Terrace is the pasta bar. Otherwise, there is not much variety there. Many freshmen quickly tire of Terrace because there, it's either the pasta bar, the special, the salad bar or a burger and fries.

The Depot: Well, you can't really eat here, but Depot food makes for a tasty brunch when you wake up at two in the afternoon with a hangover. Yes, the food is overpriced, and thus, you won't get close to your money's worth when you equiv here.

Levering: Should this even count as on-campus food? Please take my advice and don't waste your money here. That is, unless you're giving a speech about why saran wrap is better than condoms. At Levering, you can't meal equiv, and the food, except for the Pizza Hut Express, is basically the same as Wolman or Terrace.

So now that you know what to eat, you need to know how to eat it. The key is to give yourself variety. For example, say you go to Wolman for lunch and don't eat any of the specials. Hey, I can understand; teriyaki tofu doesn't sound all that appetizing. You then decide to go back to Wolman for dinner. If you're like me, you don't want to have the same things you had for lunch, and thus, your options are slim. Your mistake was going to Wolman twice in a row and not having specials. Go somewhere else on campus, or if your wallet isn't empty, grab a bite to eat around Charles Village. But remember to equiv at the Depot.

All these minor problems aside, the real problem with the meal plan is the cost. You will soon find that you received no bulk discount when you paid for your meal plan at the beginning of the year. That's right. You're paying the same amount as any Joe Shmoe off the street would pay if he wanted to eat there.

For me, the cost is only part of the problem. The other part is that I like to cook. I know that I can make a better meal for myself and the people in my apartment for much less than it costs to be on the meal plan.

In conclusion, let me put it to you in as few words as possible. The food at Hopkins is not bad, and if you use the right techniques, you could even be happy with the meal plan. However, the quality you get makes the cost not worth it, no matter how hard you try. That, my friends, is why I'm off the meal plan.