Showbiz briefs from Cosby to Ozzy

Payback time? According to MTV.com, the Pet Shop Boys' new album, Release, due out on April 23, will feature a song called "The Night I Fell in Love," which portrays Eminem as a homosexual. The synthetic pop duo, Chris Lowe and Neil Tennant, do not directly reference Eminem or his alter egos, Slim Shady or Marshall Mathers, but the lyrics, which tell the story of a gay boy who falls in love with a rap star and follows him to his hotel room, blatantly reveal the star's identity. Tennant, a homosexual, sings, "Then he joked/ Hey man, your name isn't Stan, is it?/ We should be together." Eminem, noted for his homophobic lyrics, was unavailable for comment.

Speaking of payback, Newsweek's A&E is sensing a backlash to R&B artist R. Kelly's recent legal problems. Though Kelly denies allegations that he is depicted on video having sex with a 14-year-old girl, his peers have begun to admonish the singer. Jay-Z, who collaborated with him on their new album, The Best of Both Worlds, refuses to tour with him or promote the album, which is tanking. Sisqo's new song, "This is the Heart," dismisses The World's Greatest as "nothing but a child molester." Radio stations everywhere are pulling his work from playlists, and demonstrators have gathered, breaking his CDs and protesting his behavior. Kelly's response: "I'm not God." Clearly.

"Oh my God! They killed Kenny!" This time it's for real, too. The South Park star in the orange hooded sweatshirt has died dozens of times before - death by electrocution, fire, stabbing and even baked potato - but always resurrected himself in time for the next episode. Creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker have announced that his most recent death (Dec. 5 episode, from a muscular disease) was his last. Stone delivered a not-so-sentimental elegy: "I couldn't care less. I am so sick of that character."

What's the No. 1 sign that you're getting old? Your favorite childhood television show gets relegated to Nick at Nite. The Cosby Show premiered in 1984, and this spring, it made its debut on Nickelodeon's evening lineup, alongside (slightly older) classics like Cheers and All in the Family. You can catch them Monday through Thursday in back-to-back episodes from 9-10 p.m. and again from 12-1 a.m. That's not to say that the Cosby family doesn't deserve to be included in the annals of fame; Cliff, Clair and the kids were and continue to be one of America's best-loved families. But do they deserve television's equivalent of a retirement home just yet?

Another TV family is getting some serious airtime on MTV; the Osbournes have become the new Addams Family with a reality-show twist. Rock star Ozzy and his family welcome you into their home every Tuesday at 10:30 p.m. for a no script, no holds barred look at their twisted lives. It's not every day you can watch a man who bit off a bat's head on stage get bitched at by his wife and children. (And would you believe his teenage daughter Kelly cried at that Mandy Moore movie?)

Despite the exciting entry of the Osbourne family into the reality television franchise, the genre seems to be on its way out. In case you do follow those shows, here's an update: Mary and Peach overtook Gary & Dave in episode six of The Amazing Race 2, despite being detained by a heated argument over a pair of pants; there are 10 players remaining since episode six of Survivor: Marquesas (yes, another one.), and the website poll has Neleh, a 21-year-old student from Utah, picked to win. ABC's Bachelor Alex, a handsome, intelligent, successful man who must nonetheless turn to television to find a mate, has narrowed down his dating poll to three bachelorettes and will decide between Amanda (who has the edge in the polls), Shannon and Trista on April 25 at 9 p.m. Finally, Big Brother 3, apparently unembarrassed by its first two flops, is looking for house guests - you can apply online at http://www.cbe.com/primetime/bigbrother3.