Is that really a rabbit in your pants?

Writing this could very likely get me killed. The people I'm messing with have been known to make people disappear without hesitation. Heck, Copperfield even did it to Lady Liberty.

But the truth has to be told. Whatever the personal costs may be, the power of illusion deserves to be shared.

The following feats of daring-do (or magic tricks, as you laymen call them) are not only guaranteed to astound friends and family but incredibly easy to learn and perform.

While they may not help you win friends and influence people, they should provide hours (okay, minutes) of all-purpose entertainment. Enjoy.

"COLOR DIVINATION"

Although this is one of the first tricks I performed for my friends and family when I was a youngster, it's one that I still perform from time to time and find that it works well for audiences of all ages. It's really quite simple to do, and the only requirement is an ordinary box of wax crayons.

The magician stands with his back to the audience as he instructs one of them to open a box of crayons, remove one and note its color. He holds his hands behind his back and has the audience member place the crayon into one of his upturned palms. Holding the crayons behind his back, he turns to face the audience and explain that you actually intend to divide the crayon's color by the sense of touch.

As you say this, scrape the thumbnail of the hand holding the crayon across its waxed end, thereby forcing a small amount of wax to lodge under the nail. Transfer the crayon to the other hand and bring out the one with the colored wax under the nail. Touch it to your forehead. As your hand travels past your face secretly catch a glimpse of the color. As soon as you glimpse the color, close your eyes and pretend to be in deep thought as if you were really trying to divine the color. All that remains is for you to name the color and bring forth the crayon for verification.

The most important aspect of this trick is its performance. When attempting to divine the crayon's color, you must act as though you really have the ability to do so. If you believe that you can divine the color, so will your audience. Just sell it, baby.

"THE 21 CARD TRICK"

Even though this is probably the most famous self-working card trick in existence, it's still a great puzzler and a lot of fun to do.

The magician deals three rows of cards onto a table. Each row contains seven cards. An audience member is asked to locate the thought of selection.

Shuffle the deck and begin by dealing three cards, face-up, in a row from left to right. Deal another three cards on top of the first three. In doing so, be sure to overlap them so you can still see a portion of the underlying card's faces. Continue dealing in this manner until you have three rows with seven cards in each row.

Ask a nearby chum to think of any of the cards on the table and then, without telling you its name, have them indicate the row that contains the mentally selected card. Gather up one of the two rows that doesn't contain his card. It is important that you do this in a manner that does not alter the position of any of the cards. Gather the row containing the audience member's card in the same manner and add it onto the top of the first gathered pile. Gather the remaining row of cards and add it onto the top of the other two. This will center the pile containing the mentally selected card between the other two.

Pick up the packet of 21 cards, turn it face-down and once again deal out three rows of seven, face-up, cards. Ask the audience member to indicate the row that now contains the mentally selected card. Gather up the three rows as before, and in doing so, be sure that the pile containing the selected card is once again centered between the other two.

Turn the entire packet face-down as before and deal out three rows of seven face-up cards. Ask the audience member to once again indicate the row that now contains the mentally selected card. When he does this, you immediately look at the forth card in that row. Remember this card, it is the selection.

Chalk this one up to the wonders of mathematics.

"DIME AND PENNY TRICK"

This is a fine impromptu mind reading effect that requires no preparation whatsoever. The magician has an audience member hold a dime in one hand and a penny in the other. He's instructed to close both hands into fists. The magician turns his back and asks him to concentrate on one of the coins. After a moment the magician turns around and correctly identifies the mentally selected coin.

Begin by handing your eager volunteer the two coins. Place the dime in his right hand, the penny in his left and tell him to close both hands into a fist. Look directly at him and say, "I want you to concentrate on one of the two coins. You can think of the dime or the penny, but please don't give me any help. Don't glance at your hands, just concentrate on one of the coins and I'll try and tell you exactly which one you were thinking of."

Close your eyes as if you're actually trying to read his mind. After a moment open them and say, "I'm having some difficulty, I'm not getting anything. You're going to have to help me. I'll turn my back, and while my back is turned I want you to place the hand holding the coin you're thinking of, against your forehead like this." Demonstrate by holding your fist against your forehead. Turn your back and say, "All right place the hand containing the coin you're thinking of against your forehead. Have you done that? Good. Now hold it there and concentrate on the coin. Concentrate, trying to visualize it in your mind's eye."

Pause for a moment and then say, "All right, I think I've got it. Please take your hand from your forehead and place it alongside the one holding the other coin. Have you done that? Good. Then it's all right for me to turn around." Turn to face him and, as you do, glance at his hands. One will be considerably lighter in color than the other. The hand he held up against his forehead will be much lighter due to the fact that the blood has rushed out of it.

Do not stare at his hands-a cursory glance is all that is needed. Instead, look directly into his eyes and dramatically name the coin he's been concentrating on. If his right hand is lighter, it's the dime. If his left is lighter, it's the penny.

"OUT TO LUNCH"

This is a wonderful mind reading effect that can be performed for a very large audience. All the necessary requirements to make it happen can easily be found in your kitchen.

The magician holds up a paper shopping bag which is sealed by a simple fold at the top. He explains that the bag contains a vegetable which is going to be used in a mind reading experiment.

He sets the bag aside as he asks several members of the audience to call out the names of various vegetables. As each vegetable is named, it is written on a slip of paper and the paper is folded and placed into a glass or bowl. After eight or ten slips of paper have been deposited in the container, the magician invites an audience member to reach into it and remove one of the slips.

The audience member is asked to unfold the paper and read aloud the name of the randomly chosen vegetable. He opens the paper and says, "Tomato." The magician has him open the bag to discover, much to his surprise, that it contains a tomato.

This trick requires a shopping bag, a vegetable and in this case a tomato, although you may use any vegetable, several small slips of paper, a pen or pencil and a glass or bowl to act as a container. Place the vegetable in the bag, seal it with a fold and you're ready to perform.

Hold up the bag and explain that it contains a vegetable that will be used as a prediction. Ask several audience members to call out the name of a vegetable. As each vegetable is called, you apparently write its name on a slip of paper. What you really do is write the word tomato on every slip of paper. Needless to say, it is important that you do not let anyone see what you actually write. Since the audience has no reason to think that you're writing the same thing on each slip, they will assume you're writing the name of each vegetable as it's called out. The slips are dropped into your container and mixed-up.

Offer the container to an audience member, saying, "Reach inside, choose one of the slips of paper and, when you've done that, open it and read it aloud. After he names the vegetable, have him open the bag and remove the tomato to confirm that you have correctly predicted exactly what vegetable would be chosen.

And that's just the basics, my little humanoids. Start here, and if you prove adept, seek out the advice of an experienced magician. If you're lucky, he or she might just teach you a thing or two.

Just remember this. Often the difference between a convincing trick and a spectacular failure is not a matter of physical dexterity, but of showmanship. If you believe it's real, so will your audience. With that, go forth and conjure.