Published by the Students of Johns Hopkins since 1896
April 25, 2024

Washington, D.C.: it's not just for plump thong-wearing interns anymore - Viagra-popping politicians shouldn't be the only ones getting some action. Get wild and get jiggy with it in our nation's capitol. Just don't forget your wallet.

By Charles Donefer | September 5, 2001

People talk about Baltimore the same way they describe an ugly woman to someone they want to set her up with.

First, obvious flaws are glazed over. Just like the ugly woman's yellow teeth and beer gut, people skip over Baltimore's crime and lack of useful public transit. Then, the matchmaker tells the potential blind date about what a nice personality that this woman/city has. The woman is kind, sweet and funny. Baltimore is "Charm City," home to such oddballs as director John Waters and that socialist who hands out literature outside the library. In the end, the man being set up sees through the obfuscation and goes out (or moves in) anyway for essentially the same reason: the hot friends. Baltimore's hot friend is Washington, D.C., our swingin', sister city to the south.

Getting There

With a car, it's easy - take Interstate 95 south to U.S. 50, which becomes New York Avenue and leads to the heart of downtown D.C. For the rest of us, it's a little more tricky.

MARC trains run from Baltimore's Penn Station to Union Station in Washington on weekdays for only $5.75 one way. The trip takes about 55 minutes. Schedules are available at http://www.mtamaryland.com.

During the weekend, things get a bit more unpleasant. To get down to D.C. on a Saturday or a Sunday, you either have to heave out the cash and take Amtrak or schlep down to the Greyhound terminal on W. Fayette St. and catch a bus. The Greyhound station in D.C. is just a few blocks from Union Station, the closest Metro stop. In addition to the certainty that you will be hit up for cash while walking from the bus stop to the Metro, the bus is also annoying because it costs $9.35, even with a Student Advantage card, for a one-way trip. My advice, after many a bus and train trip to Washington: Make friends with people who have cars.

Getting Around

Once you get to Washington, getting around is easy. The Metro goes everywhere and doesn't cost much (you pay based on distance and time of day). You could take a cab, but D.C. cabs run on a zone system. This system is supposed to keep cabbies from overcharging tourists, but somehow the driver always charges me for more zones than I thought I went through.

Also, D.C. cabs charge per person, which can get to be very expensive, even for short rides. In fact, the only reason not to take Metro to your destination is if you are hauling a large duffel bag to Georgetown, the only place you'd want to go that isn't serviced by Metro. In that case, you'll want to go ahead and grab a cab, by all means.

Getting Entertained

Of course, you can always go to one of the Smithsonian museums around the Mall. You could, also, get decked out in your finest suit or dress and stroll around the Capitol, watching laws take effect and special interests sated by Congressmen in search of soft money. You could see the memorials. You probably won't.

Georgetown is a good place to start for bar-hopping, if you like the college-town atmosphere and shopping and prefer doing it outside of malls. The main drags are Wisconsin Ave. and M St., NW.

Dupont Circle, on the Red Line, is a nice place to stroll around, and many good, cheap restaurants line Connecticut Ave.

Up 18th St., NW, is Adams Morgan, home to hipper-than-thou bars, lounges and clubs. A severe contrast to Baltimore, the street scene here remains vibrant up until closing time, which is an hour later than in Baltimore. You can hear live music from several different sources all at once. Inside, you can bump and grind with the beautiful people. One night in Adams Morgan, I waited in line for pizza behind Carlos Santana himself. To state the obvious, that doesn't happen very often in Charles Village.

If your tastes run more toward the electronica-and-designer-drugs side of things, the Southeast quadrant boasts several clubs that are home to raves, such as Nation. Southeast isn't the safest place in our nation's capital, so plan your trip in advance to avoid wandering around late at night.

You must remember this

If you're going to drink in D.C. bars, you'll want to be 21. By 21, I really mean 21. As in, if you want to get into the Blue Room in Adams Morgan or Champs in Georgetown, your chances are infinitely better if you were actually born 21 or more years from the date you plan to visit. I think you know what I mean.

Also, you don't want to be caught in Washington short on cash. Metro may be cheap, but drinks will put you in the red. A top-shelf Gin and Tonic can run you $8. Consider yourself warned.


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