Warning signs of an unhealthy relationship
Content warning: the following article includes topics some readers may find triggering, including sexual assault.
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Content warning: the following article includes topics some readers may find triggering, including sexual assault.
Lots of people talk about self-care — “time for a self-care night” or “you should spend time on self-care” — but people tend to not always know what it is or to not think it’s that important. So this is a) a bit of advice about how to do self-care well and b) a reminder to go take care of yourself.
Everybody seems to love puppies and kittens and animals of all kinds — they’re cute, vulnerable, funny, companionate — yet so many people have misconceptions about how humans interact with animals.
I feel as though I was happier in high school than I am now, and there are probably a number of reasons for that. One I’d like to discuss, though, is the fact that I’ve stopped giving credit to my lollipop moments.
This is for my older brother. It is a life-changing experience to be a little sister, and it was a surprisingly emotional moment for me to see him get married. I shut down. I got defensive to hide the feeling of losing my big brother.
“If men could only know each other, they would neither idolize nor hate,” Elbert Hubbard once said.
To borrow a phrase coined during a “simpler” time, that the personal is political, I dare to claim the opposite is true today: the political is personal. In an era of sad nihilism, when bigotry and discrimination are boiled into our everyday lexicon and we have become self-obsessed with our national concerns — of which there is no shortage — to me, the political has truly become just that. Personal.
We don’t talk about what makes us uncomfortable, but we should. Sexual assault is not a new phenomenon. It is not, and never will be, a result of the way someone dresses or the way someone acts. Burkas and ball gowns know assault just as booty shorts do. The male gaze is as pertinent as ever; the powerful gazing upon the marginalized as if their stares can strip autonomy. It’s the 21st century and survivors are just now finally gaining space to be able to share their experiences.
Female college graduates have outnumbered males for decades. In Fortune 500 companies, women make up 50 percent of the workforce; however, women only make up 25 percent of executive positions. Despite an increase in board gender diversity, there are still very few women in executive leadership positions. Only 4.8 percent of Fortune 500 CEOs are women. These numbers are not only shockingly low, but, in 2018, the number of female CEOs also fell by 25 percent. In corporate America, women are losing ground.
Before you dismiss this as a ranting feminist article, hear me out. Even in liberal, American cities about 23% of men find feminism unnecessary. Even 7% of women find feminism unnecessary. There are countless photos of women on the internet holding up signs which read: “If I’m wearing a top like this I want you to look” and “I don’t need feminism because I love men!” There are endless other examples of women who are not only complacent but adamant that their role in society is justified.
In a world governed by social pressure to love and be loved, knowing how to be single is key to your health and that of your relationships. Knowing how to be single can be difficult, though, when surrounded by rom-coms, love songs and Disney-happy-endings.
In introducing my column for this upcoming semester, I want to transition between the positive relationships I wrote about last semester to focusing on more politically-charged experiences. I would like to provide a content warning to anyone who cannot read about sexuality and sexual violence.
It’s still one of those things you don’t talk about. Over three years since your break-up-versary, you still get the feeling of stumbling off of a high dive when your thoughts return to it: tennis, Seattle, Nike, the color blue.
The quick answer: It depends. It depends on the struggle. The enormity of this question paired with the spectrum of mental health issues, possibilities and struggles, makes this answer near impossible to tackle in a mere 1,000 words. My experiences as an A Place to Talk (APTT) trainer, QPR-certified member, Sexual Assault Resource Unit (SARU) hotline respondent, psychology major and hospice volunteer will hopefully prove useful, though. I am going to break all the rules here and give advice (which is usually the worst thing you can do in supporting someone struggling with mental health).
1) Wake up, workout. Take your weight and a photo for your app, Diet Diary, everyday. To make sure you’re losing weight. Workout as much as you can. Start with P90X, not enough. Get into POP Pilates. Everyday, do at least a two-hour workout.
Your bathroom drain is being sluggish, slow. But it’s not broken. You just can’t use as much water anymore or it’ll overflow.
1. Meet somebody in the back of the bus – the place where three seats face three seats. Your friends and you will fill up one row and two boys will sit down in the other. After a few minutes on the circulator, Stanford sweater will ask if you girls go to Hopkins? Your friend should say yes. The other boy has cauliflower ears and you wonder if he’s a fighter like you, he is a pale man with a ginger beard and rough hands.
1) This is non-negotiable: You must fall in love. Find someone you’re attracted to, maybe someone from Jiu-Jitsu with chiseled eyes and cheesy dimples who smiles at you from across the room.