2008 Woodie Awards
Satisfy your temptations, but don't overindulge
Issue date: 11/13/08
Here's a question for you: How much gummy candy is too much gummy candy? I myself have eaten seven pounds of gummy candy this week. I know this is a bit excessive - the inside of my mouth is corroding from that sour stuff they put on gummy worms and the extra sugar is making me spaz out in short bursts before plunging me into deep withdrawal.
And yet, I can't stop. I find myself back at Char Mar at one, sometimes two, sometimes three in the morning to get my fix, justifying my actions by saying I don't want a pile of dining dollars that I'll wind up spending on Burt's Bees products.
On the bright side, I feel as though this newfound addiction has brought me closer to my idol, Mandy Moore, and her one-time top 10 (number two in Australia) single, Candy.
So here I am, hyped up on sour patch kids, blasting the Wade Robson Remix of Candy, and I begin to think about health and indulgence and how much indulgence is healthy. Any eight-year-old, much less a sophomore in college, can tell you that downing upwards of 70 sour patch kids isn't good for you, and yet here I am doing it anyway.
The fact is, people do things that are bad for them all the time. It's interesting, because there are so many varying degrees of bad behavior, you can justify almost anything. For instance, my current sugar addiction is nothing compared to the time I went away to boarding school and ate nothing but Jello and Apple Jacks for a month.
Junk food is just one of my weaknesses; my other, though slightly less intriguing, is equally prone to cause obsessive behavior: men.
The Crush: an illusive term that includes anything from feeling butterflies in one's stomach when the object of one's desire enters the room to feeling overwhelming distress when they leave it. Crushes can occur for a plethora of reasons including good looks, wit, charm, confidence and any other trait you think would describe James Tiberius Kirk.
While most crushes are associated with positive things such as daydreaming, there exists a small but pervasive minority which are associated with bad things, such as Anna Nalick.
And yet, I can't stop. I find myself back at Char Mar at one, sometimes two, sometimes three in the morning to get my fix, justifying my actions by saying I don't want a pile of dining dollars that I'll wind up spending on Burt's Bees products.
On the bright side, I feel as though this newfound addiction has brought me closer to my idol, Mandy Moore, and her one-time top 10 (number two in Australia) single, Candy.
So here I am, hyped up on sour patch kids, blasting the Wade Robson Remix of Candy, and I begin to think about health and indulgence and how much indulgence is healthy. Any eight-year-old, much less a sophomore in college, can tell you that downing upwards of 70 sour patch kids isn't good for you, and yet here I am doing it anyway.
The fact is, people do things that are bad for them all the time. It's interesting, because there are so many varying degrees of bad behavior, you can justify almost anything. For instance, my current sugar addiction is nothing compared to the time I went away to boarding school and ate nothing but Jello and Apple Jacks for a month.
Junk food is just one of my weaknesses; my other, though slightly less intriguing, is equally prone to cause obsessive behavior: men.
The Crush: an illusive term that includes anything from feeling butterflies in one's stomach when the object of one's desire enters the room to feeling overwhelming distress when they leave it. Crushes can occur for a plethora of reasons including good looks, wit, charm, confidence and any other trait you think would describe James Tiberius Kirk.
While most crushes are associated with positive things such as daydreaming, there exists a small but pervasive minority which are associated with bad things, such as Anna Nalick.
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