Some procrastinating lasts long after Twilight

Admitting to your procrastination is only the first step: a guide to the causes and the cures for this terrible student affliction

By: Emma Brodie

Posted: 12/4/08

What they say about love is true - it always comes at the most inconvenient time. And this is no exception.

Within the next week I have due: one six page paper, one 15-page paper, one 20-page paper, I have to be off book for a play, not to mention, class, work, formals, eating, sleeping, the usual. And yet, the only thing I can think about is Twilight.

Yes, I, like millions of other girls, am completely and utterly obsessed with the diabetically sweet romance of Bella Swan and Edward Cullen (the perfect male specimen ... with one teeny tiny exception).

Somehow work has been shoved onto the back burner as I sit rigidly on my bed, savoring each page of their epic romance. It doesn't matter to me how many times Edward's face is described as "impossibly handsome" or "perfect." Somehow it never gets old. It doesn't matter that Bella is emo and uninteresting ... I still want to be her.

Actually, Bella from the book is far spunkier than Bella from the movie, whose simpering sighs and sullen awkwardness are barely counteracted by the perfection that is Robert Pattinson (I'm not jealous).

Actually, it's a good thing that Edward Cullen is devilishly handsome; the story needs his good looks and charm to disguise the overwhelming creepiness of its premise.

I mean, how would audiences feel if it were an ugly vampire stalking Bella, watching Bella sleep, taking Bella to meet the rest of his creepy vampire family? Not great.

More intriguing than all this is perhaps the fact that I, a sensible 19-year-old girl, seem to have once again fallen victim to N.O.P.S. (New Obsession Procrastination Syndrome).

Interesting how right before finals begin, I have found something new to occupy my thoughts - something more interesting to me than my work, even if it is just another teen movie.

Denial may run deep, but it appears that the procrastination gene runs even deeper. And now, as I stare at the piles of unread books before me, the future echoes of the keyboard chorus ringing in my ears, I find myself reaching instead for the mediocre but fantastic novel that is Twilight.

Why? Because my new obsession simply prohibits me from doing anything else, much less working.

I'm not the only person who struggles with procrastination. One in every one teenager suffers from this affliction, albeit in varying degrees.

Procrastination can result from a number of circumstances; boredom with material, dissatisfaction with a class or oneself, apathy, rebellion, undiagnosed Attention Deficit Disorder and Facebook stalking are just a few common catalysts.

If you've got the procrastination gene, it doesn't matter how studious you are - one minor slip in self-control can set you back days in your work.

There are two main kinds of procrastinators: the tortoises and the hares. The hares are usually well practiced in the art of denial, stating that they need to wait until the last minute, that it's the adrenaline rush that allows them to do their best work.

The tortoises, on the other hand, embrace their procrastination as an inevitable part of their process, building in enough time for them to procrastinate and do their work simultaneously.

Whereas the hares can typically bang out a six-page paper in three hours, the tortoises will give themselves nine hours to type the same exact paper, leaving time for e-mail checking, IMing and staring out the window.

So how to combat this devil in our midst? We all know that the only thing more challenging than the D-Level challenge is actually doing work in that dungeon.

What is there to be done when anything seems better than what you actually have to do? Here's what I've got for you: motivation follows action. You just have to bite the bullet and start doing the work.

Often times, just beginning the work will lift some of pressure that seems to restrict productivity - you must persevere past this point for it is all too easy to stop there, look around and say, "Hey I've got this under control," and thus loop back into your procrastination denial.

You must keep going even after you think you're in the clear. Half an hour of solid work usually gets you out of the beginner's luck trap and on to the rest of your task.

Another trick I've found useful when I really can't focus is to do work in the presence of a friend.

Just having someone else in the room somehow makes me feel less compelled to goof off. Yes, I thrive on shame, but at least I thrive.

Everybody has their vices. The trick to productivity is knowing yours and recognizing when they're getting the better of you.

Everybody has their limits and even if you know you can get that paper done at the last minute, somehow it almost always ends up feeling like Russian Roulette.

So give your nerves a break and leave the all-nighters to the vampires.