Stress-free rules for spring fashion

Guest Column

By: June Tyler

Posted: 5/1/08

Finals are fast approaching, and I'm sure there's nothing you'd rather do than study. This does not mean that you are allowed to neglect your wardrobe, darling. Rather, it is an opportunity to distract others with your outstanding fashion during exams that will hopefully result in a beneficial curve. Just kidding.
Seriously, though. No more jackets, no more sweaters, no more somber colors. It is spring! And spring means wonderful pastel shirts and sundresses. If you're busy, and thinking you haven't got time to fuss over your attire, do not fret; with a few simple basics, you will be effortlessly chic and comfortable.

No Way

Pink and Red:
These colors go splendidly on a Valentine's Day card, but not so much on you. I know some of you are pouting your overly-glossed lips and thinking "Wait, what? I thought they were like shades of each other or something." Nope. But don't worry, shades of other colors do go together. Greens? Great. Blues? Brilliant. Yellows? Eh, maybe. Which brings us to our next point:

The Velour Track Suit.
A possibility, if you split it up and don't wear both halves together. Skip the Tiffany charm bracelet and fake tan, too. Save the full-body-encapsulation of fuzzy yellowness or bright pink for Halloween. When you're home. Alone. And no one has to see you. Head-to-toe kelly green? St. Patrick's Day only.

The Diaper Short.
You know these; they're cut loose and then tie or gather at the bottom at the top of the thigh, like a puffy diaper. The tied bottoms, I must say, takes care of the butt-fat hanging-out that so often happens with short-shorts, but creates a different problem. Diaper shorts look cute-ish from the front, but have you seen your derrière from the back? Ooh, ouch. This figures into the bigger message of Know What You Look Like From Behind.

Generic-ness.
We're all guilty of it. Yeah, it's Monday, and yeah, you're tired, and yeah, go ahead and throw on your t-shirt, jeans and flip-flops. But at least make it a cool t-shirt, preferably one that prominently displays a wholesome saying (eg. Make Cupcakes, Not War) or has a sweet rock band design, and flip-flops in an unusual color. My fave? Brown. You wouldn't think of them as out-of-the-ordinary, but they are. And they look good with anything (but black, of course).

Hell Yes

Environmentally-Conscious Vêtements.
Incase you're not a Francophile, that last word there means "clothing," which ties in the global-ness of this trend. It's hip to be environmentally aware, if you haven't picked up on that already. Wearing organic cotton capris or an Earth-Day t-shirt is not only awesomely fashionable, but buying these types of clothes supports sustainable industry and shows you care about your world. Who wouldn't find that attractive?

Capri-Shorts.
A beautifully-fitting pair of Capri-shorts is a wonderful thing. If you're at all curvy (ie, most of us), don't buy them tight. If you're short, don't let them go past your knee. And no matter what, never pair them with thick wedge flip-flops. But in simple comfortable khaki, they are a pretty super summer staple. Wear them with delicate gladiator sandals and an airy A-line mini-dress or retro sneakers and layered tanks.

The French Rivera Shirt.
You know what I'm talking about: black and white horizontal stripes (or navy, eh). So classic and cool no matter how you wear it, really. Accessories: Large sunglasses, straw hat, iced tea, possibly a gondola…

Funky Rain Boots.
When it rains, it pours. And the pathways become rivers. And the lawns flood. And the best thing to do about that is to wear your rainboots, girl! Traditional Wellies in red or green are freshly classic, but the new cool polka-dot or anime-cartoon boots are neat as well. Also, tuck in your jeans! That's the point! You want to stay warm and dry from your toes to your knees and that's not going to happen if your pant hems are dragging in the mud.

The Exotic Farmer's Market Bag.
These harken back to the days of buying fresh oranges at a bustling stand in Guatemala on cool summer mornings; outings we can all relate to. Well, even if you're one of the few who don't do this often, a bag with printed lemons or coconuts or a tote that looks like it was sewn from foreign burlap sacks goes well with any summer outfit. It sends the message that you are carefree, well-traveled, and support local produce farmers.

The Safari Shirt.
Khaki or light blue, this light button-down transports you instantly to the Serengeti or the Pyramids. You look just as great in it riding a camel across the desert as you do sitting in IFP. If you get one, make sure the sleeves roll up and have little staying-tabs and buttons for authenticity and don't get it too small. It's meant to be a bit loose.
Now as you're diligently memorizing synthesis reactions, remember that after finals are over, what do you have to look forward to? Shopping, of course! Keep these rules in mind when you venture out of your sweat-suited comfort zone, as I hope you do this summer, and I wish you the best in fabulous finds.