Living it up in Baltimore and beyond

Emma's Dilemma

By: Emma Brodie

Posted: 4/30/09

I remember just a few months ago I was sitting in my suite on the verge of an existential meltdown as a vision of the end of my college career flashed before my eyes.

Now, in the blink of an eye, I am one-fourth of the way closer to the end of college, that much closer to financial independence and impending doom.

It's time for my final column of the year. I could write about how stressful exam period is, but I'd rather do what I'm best at and distract others (and myself) from doing their schoolwork. I will thus leave you with a few entertaining, practical but completely unconnected thoughts to keep you company during the doldrums of finals and beyond.

First thought: Finding housing in Charles Village is a nightmare.

Second thought: Craig's List is amazing. Craig's List is the place where miracles happen. I placed an a¡d on Craig's List and within 15 minutes was connected with a lovely, normal sub-letter. The Hopkins housing Web site was less helpful, taking my information and storing it in what I can only imagine is a very sad server somewhere out in cyber space.

Third thought: When you are avoiding studying by going on Facebook, keep in mind that people who put childhood pictures of themselves as their profile picture are insecure. Putting a cute picture of yourself on Facebook with a caption of "Wasn't I sooo cute?" still falls under the "compliment-begging" category.

While your friends may compliment you on the fabulously cute little sundress you're wearing in your picture, this completely negates the purpose of Facebook, which we all know is to stalk old summer camp buddies and see how they turned out. Nothing is creepier than going on Facebook to stalk your fellow camper and finding a picture taken the summer that you were at camp (they never get older . . . ).

Fourth thought: Don't forget to resell your books to Barnes and Nobles, especially if you're just going to let them gather dust in your closet.

Fifth thought: Here is a list of useful things to buy with your remaining dining dollars: soap, ketchup, mustard, all the condiments, condoms, light bulbs, extension chords, note cards, mascara and umbrellas.

Sixth thought: Here is a list of useless things to buy with your remaining dining dollars: the entire Burt's Bees rack and milk.

Seventh thought: If you are looking for a few useless but entertaining ways to spend your free time:

1) Go to New York City and try to find the Cash Cab, 2) Go to several banks, take photographs of the vaults and when someone asks you what you are doing, start bawling and tell them they could never understand you. 3) Hitchhike to Forks, Wash. and look for Edward Cullen, 4) Pre-order Mandy Moore's new CD: Amanda Leigh, 5) Buy a VCR on the cheap and start a VHS library, but only buy VHS tapes whose titles start with S.

Eighth thought: The Rotunda movie theater closed. The Senator is closing. You're going to have to go to the Inner Harbor for your next movie night.

Ninth thought: Remember to return your library books. However, if you have had your outstanding item for more than three months, they have already stopped charging you, so you may as well keep it, you will be paying the fine anyway and you have definitely earned the BBC version of Pride and Prejudice by this point.

10h thought: Ultimately exams are not worth stressing over. It's a couple hours of your life and when it's over, it's summer vacation! So remember, rays today, raisons tomorrow, and make it a good one.