The Id Verses Superego

By: Jeremy Bremmer

Posted: 10/9/08

In unsurprising news, the Id has once again beaten the Superego. A battle to the ground featured two very familiar rivals, contesting the power of the individual's will in what Freud once allegedly called "the mind's great game of basketball" - (following that paradigm is neither difficult nor lacking in fun).

The Ego played the role of referee to quite a lot of applause from the audience of repressed memories and suppressed emotions; All of whom truly enjoyed the display of basketball prowess that was put on in the American Airlines Unconscious Arena last evening.

The Superego jumped out to an early lead with its superior environmental senses and sense of posterity. The Superego's sense of the past was red hot from downtown, making five consecutive threes in the opening minutes of the first quarter. However, as the quarter came to a close, the Id's overpowering offensive attack and aggressive defense began to wear down the carefully calculated and well thought out attack of the Superego. The pleasure principle put in 10 points in the final minutes of the quarter, slamming one dunk down, "posterizing" the historic comprehension of the Superego.

In the second quarter the calm and calculated attack of the Superego incorporated formerly inherited values and put together another run. Their half court offense and full court trap defense both worked with unquestionable affect, effectively stymieing the brash attack of the Id. At the half, the Superego held a slight but resounding lead over the Id.

The halftime show featured repressed memories interacting on the court, to the enjoyment of the Ego, followed by a neurotransmitter race projected on the scoreboard. It was very entertaining for this reporter as well, considering that, as serotonin won the race, I can go to my local Dunkin Donuts for a free hour of psychodynamic analysis.

Following my success in the neurotransmitter race - go go go serotonin - the Superego retook the floor to the delight of the fans, while the Id was heavily booed, apparently to his own delight. The Id took over the game as the second half resumed. It rammed a whole half hour full of sexual anxiety and frustration that had built up during the half time break right down the serotonin-distracted Superego's throats. The Superego tried to slow the game down and play on a more rational level, but the Id's pleasure principle again seemed to lead them to victory.

As the third quarter closed, the Superego pulled out an interesting move, electing to introduce their parental values into the game. This took the Id by surprise, as this individual had clearly been affected by significant childhood trauma due in large part to the parents' complete and utter lack of regard for physical boundaries. The Superego took a slight lead at 85-81 with just 3:00 to go in the psychodynamic battle.

Then, the Id decided to introduce a new strategy or their own, if you can say that anything the Id does is based on strategy-substituting other carnal hungers for sexual desire: The Id was hungry! And nobody - not even serotonin - wants to mess with the Id when the Id is hungry for a big juicy burger. The Ego tried to employ primary process and even secondary process to keep the game at a civil level, but the Id was just too hungry to stop in any sense. It took the ball up and down the court, sometimes for no apparent reason, throwing the Superego's sense of rationality into chaos. While the Id only managed to score the necessary five points to tie the game - with two dunks, one in which the Id shoved the opposing player, but fearing losing touch with reality, the Ego was awarded a free throw - they did it in style, maintaining possession for all but three seconds, in which the Superego cuddled up with the ball at center court attempting to cry.