News-Letter

I think that she is just trying to make a statement, this does not imply that she is a slut or anything on the lines of that.

Originally posted by

anon

Hello,

I felt that I needed to comment on your article.

Let's jump right in. You argue that woman should have sex before even becoming friends with the person; however if you talk to any guy, he will say that he will have absolutely zero respect for any girl that gives it up that fast, period. That's the way male-female relationships work, call it a double standard whatever.

Your arguments about sex are perfectly legitimate in terms of emotional, psychological and physical health and I completely agree that women should try and have it as much as they want and never letting society dictate their habits. However there is a catch, a girl that is as promiscuous as you suggest in the article will not be thought of in the greatest respect. That is the social cost.

Back to the double standard, no matter how much society wants to tell you that men and women are equal they are not. Of course we should have the same civil rights etc, but don't confuse social aspects of the male-female aspects with legal matters.

Frankly, this article seems like a huge rationalization to behavior generally perceived to be slutty. Not to mention a clear example of cognitive dissonance in which you clearly know that this kind of behavior is looked down upon. Attempting to enlighten others via this article is simply a way to get more people to have a as much of a ill-concieved sex life that you have becuase you are not willing to realize what kind of an impact you are making on your reputation. Everyone will read this article through and conclude "She must be a slut".

The double standard is beginning to dissolve and maybe in about 10 years this behavior will be 100% acceptable but the fact of the matter is that right now its not.

- sophomore undergrad at jhu

as a fellow sex columnist, i feel i needed to comment on your response

firstly, in arguing against this article, you say that women who are quick to get laid lose respect. however, that is the cause and subject of the article. this is the assumption and implication of the article and does not contradict the wisdom or advice in any way

secondly, you say that liz's arguments are legitimate from the perspective of emotional, psychological, and physical health. do you not feel, then, that the problem may be with the concept and application of respect? if a girl is engaging in something that is emotionally, psychologically, and physically healthy, i would argue that anyone who feels she does not deserve his/her respect probably believes in respect for the wrong reasons

your next paragraph goes back to the double standard, again, only describing the culture and not actually contradicting the article or making a case of how things should be

"you clearly know that this kind of behavior is looked down upon"

yes. she does. she is arguing against this. that is the purpose of the article

"as much of a ill-concieved sex life that you have becuase you are not willing to realize what kind of an impact you are making on your reputation"

ill-conceived? the article advocates responsibility and acceptance of consequences. liz is actually arguing that part of the taboo nature of having sex comes from girls. when they act awkward or second-guess themselves, they admit shame and give us all permission to look down on them. no individual is free from being looked down on by some ideology. what gives the ideology its strength is the shame the individual feels. without the shame, the ideology falls on deaf ears and dies out


"The double standard is beginning to dissolve and maybe in about 10 years this behavior will be 100% acceptable but the fact of the matter is that right now its not."

nothing will ever change if there is no pressure for it to do so. this article is pressure toward social equality, a pressure that I condone

Originally posted by

anon

Hello,
however if you talk to any guy, he will say that he will have absolutely zero respect for any girl that gives it up that fast, period.

Not every guy shares this sentiment. You are projecting your own views & behaviors onto every single man on earth.