Enjoy an offensively fun meal at Dick’s Last Resort

By ANNA GORDON | September 13, 2018

This past Saturday, I decided to try out a restaurant known as Dick’s Last Resort. If you haven’t heard of it before, it’s a humorous restaurant chain where the staff is rude to you on purpose. I had been wanting to pay it a visit for a while, and I heard that they have a location in the Inner Harbor.

I gathered a few of my friends and we took the Charm City Circulator to the Harbor, which was nice as the bus is free. If you are thinking about trying this restaurant for yourself, I recommend doing the same.

When I first walked in, I immediately noticed how on point all of the decorations are. There are signs declaring statements such as, “Don’t worry, our staff is accustomed to dumb questions,” and “Elvis lives in our bathroom.” There is also a life-size statue of the figure from the restaurant’s logo, a miserable, balding cartoon man holding a pint of beer.

The place has quite a few large flat screen TVs with live broadcasts of different sports games. Most of the customers seemed to be families, but there was still a retro sports bar vibe.

After we sat down, our waiter came up to our table and asked what we’d like to drink. I asked for water, and he told me, “Why do you have to order something free?” 

When he finished taking our drinks, he walked to the middle of the room and announced to the restaurant, “Welcome to Dick’s Last Resort. If the service is rude to you, it’s on purpose. My name is Big Daddy Sausage. Everyone say it with me.” 

Collectively, everyone in the restaurant said the phrase “Big Daddy Sausage,” even the children. My friends and I broke out laughing. 

When we looked at the menu, I quickly noticed that the beers were listed as either “‘MERICA,” “MORE ‘MERICA” or “ NOT ‘MERICA.” 

The food was mostly American style as well. There were options like mac and cheese, burgers and barbecue ribs. I ordered Cajun pasta. 

While we waited for the food, one of the waiters came over and tied plastic bibs around our necks that said “Any day is a good day to tie one on at Dick’s!”

In the meantime, the waiters made hats for the customers, with different insults for each. Unfortunately for my friends and me, we were never given any hats. For some reason, we didn’t get that much attention in terms of insults from the waiter. I’m not sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. 

When our drinks were ready, the waiters threw the straws at us. We soon realized that this was the standard — they also mindlessly tossed the silverware and even the receipts when we were done.

After we finished our meal, our waiter came up to our table and said, “Now everyone, who knows what is the most important part of Dick’s?”

My friends and I smiled blankly. 

“The tip, and size does matter.”

As expected, our waiter pandered us for a large tip. When we simply gave the recommended amount, he called us “cheap asses.”

All in all though, I appreciated the whole experience. It was very entertaining, and I was never bored. Going to a restaurant can often be a predictable and run-of-the-mill outing but not at Dick’s. 

If you are looking for somewhere unique and fun to visit this weekend, Dick’s is a great place to go. While it is a bit of trek to get to the Inner Harbor, Dick’s is the sort of place I really recommend trying out at least once in your life. Baltimore is a great place to do it. 

The food is more or less average, but the real reason you should go is for the atmosphere. At the end of the day, Dick’s Last Resort is a really wonderful time. The restaurant could make a great location for any event, whether you’re having a casual Saturday outing or an alternative 21st birthday party. 

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