1. Electron microscopes
2. A statue of Michael Bloomberg making it rain million dollar checks
3. U.S. News & World Report bribes.
4. A building dedicated to the Applied Physics Laboratory’s drone research, to be named the Inhumanity Center.
5. AIs designed to TA classes
(RIP grad students.)
6. A copy of Ben Carson’s Think Big: Unleashing Your Potential for Excellence for each incoming student.
7. A roadmap explaining the concept of diversity to President Daniel
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