Published by the Students of Johns Hopkins since 1896
April 18, 2024

Finals Horoscopes

December 8, 2016

Aries

Just remember how smart you are, and you’ll make it through this one.

Taurus 

You know you need to do that thing you’ve put off all week... but it can wait until after one more episode.

Gemini

You missed your withdrawal date for that one class and now you’ve just got to hope you make it out with a C+.

Cancer

You’re the type of person to load a lot onto your plate at once, so plan accordingly.

Leo

Don’t stress out too much, you’re going to be fine.

Virgo

You basically live at Brody Café now so that you can have the quickest access to coffee of course.

Libra

Everyone thinks you’re fine because they don’t see you in Brody at 4 a.m. because they’ve already gone home.

Scorpio

Studying always comes first: You have a goal in mind whether that’s money or the greater good, it’s going to carry you through finals.

Sagittarius

The stars all seem to be in you favor so don’t even study. Especially if you’re in the Linear Algebra and totally wrecking the curve.

Capricorn

You don’t need caffeine since you have peer pressure to keep you from turning your textbook into a pillow.

Aquarius

You know, the stars can be wrong sometimes too. I wish you the best of luck.

Pisces

People are going to be wanting your attention but just remember what’s most important: your grades.


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